Not Romantic

 Dear Elfrieda,

My friend is in a relationship that has turned very sour. The man she married, now 65, seemed like a good guy for almost two years and then things took a turn for the 'are you remembering correctly' next two years.

Lately, he had taken to sleeping outside because he said it was cooler. His temper was not cooler. On a weekend, after midnight- ish, on a Saturday, my friend awakened. He had decided to sleep in bed that night. Going to the bathroom, the wife heard him demand... "Did you close the windows?" She replied that she had not closed the windows. He had turned off the air conditioner and opened all the windows. He must not have heard so when she re- entered the bedroom, he was snapping like a turtle and then he leaped out of bed and confronted his wife, an inch from her face, and said, "I will punch you in the face." His wife pulled back and he landed his fist under her chin and across her chest."

Do you think their relationship is over?

                                                                                            Very Concerned

Dear Very Concerned,

The 'over 65 agers' can be a vibrant group of people but not everyone has perfect health and physical fitness and optimal thinking as this is the beginning of retirement for many and the transition from full- time thinking to handling all of lifes' ups and downs takes quite a lot of patience; with oneself, and with others.

At 65, we aren't backpacking and camping and trekking through the woods like we do in our 30's. We have a bit more sense in knowing our boundaries of output and our levels of exhaustion have certainly changed.

If there is a personality change that has turned from agreeable to hostile, it would be best if a physical exam, which most people get once a year, is adhered to. If there has been a huge dietary change, some people go from 'Canada food guide' to 'Keto crazy' and think there won't be any adverse effects. Fad diets are called fads for a reason. Fasting, overly much, brings about a drastic change as well. There can be this... 'I went without food for 20 hours so I need food now' thing. That is a very demanding schedule for anyone if their partner is a traditional 'man goes to work' and 'woman takes care of the home' relationship.

Brain energy, a fantastic book I read this year, gives great detail about the huge variances of thinking, reacting, and behaviour. 

                                                                                        Hope this helps