Restorative Justice

What is restorative justice?

Most assuredly, when my husband, who attacked me, admits his wrongdoing, and apologizes and...

when I have all my possessions in my safe vault of storage...

I will have experienced restorative justice.

Isn't it strange that ordinary people don't seem to know what it means to restore something or how to go about it?

When he holds my belongings hostage, he must pay the price for this... and restore my goods and services to me, in perfect condition.  

I had my finished quilts in plastic bags, awaiting my next move. All my fabrics are in very good clear plastic containers. Most of my winter boots are in the grey cabinet I purchased at Canadian Tire last year. I have all my mitts and scarves in there as well.

I have one bottle of L'Air du Temps perfume, one BCBG Sirop de Fleurs, three grey boxes of white diamonds perfume, a Lily perfume, a Paris Hilton perfume, a lily of the valley perfume. Most of them are stored in a basket, bottom shelf, in the bathroom... the Scott McGillivray vanity that I chose for that renovation. The reason it was the most ideal vanity is because the depth really needed to be very slim- fit for a narrow passage bathroom. The chosen vanity is white... the Lakeshore bathroom vanity in this link, has the same toilet that is featured in the photo in the bathroom in my four year home, in the renovation I organized. My Winnipeg workman purchased the toilet, in Winnipeg, and drove it all the way to where I lived to give me extraordinary service. 

We all have to admit that I made things very restorative with two very nice renovations. Now, he should be restorative, to me, and my future living quarters. Don't you think?

Living Expenses

 Let's talk about what happens in marriage regarding living expenses.

Before marriage or after divorce, causing singleness...

A single person has a 'rent' cost, driving expenses, if they can afford a vehicle, utilities, clothing for working, clothing for everything else, laundry expenses, groceries... incidentals. When her husband dies, not leaving her taken care of. His evil family takes everything they can and she eats soup.

So, let's say a woman, who is renting, is asked to marry a man who owns a house. His house doesn't have any debt. She used to own a house but that was lost in a terrible tragedy. Since then she has scraped by, and has lived on a shoe- string. Her life should get better if she marries a man who says, "I have enough for both of us."

The next thing that happens is 'how they eat' after marriage.

Doesn't that almost sound like a fairytale?

The woman says 'yes' and suddenly her life is all about growing a garden, so she can have food for winter. She grows enough tomatoes to make the most delicious soups and stews and lasagna, and so many delicious dinners. If any apples come her way, she makes apple pie filling for the winter.

At the beginning of the marriage, the man does the honourable thing and buys groceries so the wife can cook food for the two of them.

But two years into the marriage, he starts a strange diet and things get a little weird, in the kitchen.

He starts buying meat, meat, and more meat... and cheese, and canned fish,... he loves to stockpile. 

The wife makes all the food which is often 30 pounds of meat, per week.

On one shopping trip, the wife sees that the two pound hamburger packages are a good price. The husband is at work so the wife buys 30 two pound packages of lean ground beef. If the wife had still been single, this amount of hamburger would have been enough, for her, for 150 meals... enough hamburger for a year, so to speak. Because the husband is sharing with her, as well, he eats 120 meals from that hamburger and the wife only gets 30 meals.

So, the wife wonders... does he think that a wife cook, earning $16.03 per hour, should get paid to cook for him? He doesn't offer.

This year, her tomato harvest is stolen. The husband doesn't take care of the wife. He steals her tomatoes and apple pie filling and frozen hamburger and a few frozen roasts and frozen bacon and Java Club coffee beans, her special buy from Costco.

This is very, very bad, indeed.

Due to... no fault of her own... she is pushed into paying a huge rent bill that no person would ever sign for because she has no income.

The harvest loaf, (right) is my special autumn baking treat that I have made for 40 years. Here it is, at 225... I put it on my 'medallion' square plates, 8 or more, I have. I used them for a special fundraiser at Cross Church many years ago when I produced an Elizabethan- style table. I purchased these plates specifically for that event.

That's my basil, from the garden, that you see in the 'Better Homes and Gardens' bowl I purchased at Walmart.

I also have Christmas ornaments that I used for a Cross Church fundraiser, a different year, stuck at 225, awaiting me to get them into a truck, so I can use all I own, where I, currently, live.

My garden box, in the back, must be missing my 'gardening touch.' My son made this for me after the death of my loved one. 

Now, it is back to soups, in Winnipeg... because the wife has been forced to live on 'next to nothing' as she was never offered a job or any means of support for the entire four years awey.

I am, anxiously, awaiting all my things, at my rented storage unit, in Winnipeg. I cannot bake and cook properly because my pots and bakeware are all at 225 as well as all my groceries.

I have was asked if I want a 'diversion' and I thought, well, isn't four years of hard labour, at 225, enough of a diversion compared with working a job I was getting paid for in Winnipeg?

I was asked to...

 I was asked to serve on a 'Youth Justice Committee' around 1997. 

This committee was made up of volunteer people who had skills that were deemed valuable for mediation between victim and perpetrator.

A police officer was on the committee. A school teacher; and I was really encouraged to take part in this program.

The goal was a type of reconciliation between parties through unbiased mediation. 

I was greatly honoured, at that time, to be asked to serve on this committee but I declined due to personal job responsibilities that curtailed my time. The volunteer hours that would have been required of me were, simply, not possible with my three growing sons... at that time.

Whose Responsibility?

Each day I apply for jobs, in Winnipeg and I write my blog and I plan my future. 

Every situation in life has a 'who's responsible for this' factor to it. 

'As a writer, sometimes, the only value in an experience is the scene possibility... to write an extreme situation into a novel so that we can all learn to be better people.' Quote from my blog entitled 'Is it a crime?'

Today, I will sketch a few situations and then give my opinion on who is responsible in each situation... according to facts given. There is a problem, in each situation, with knowing what the facts are; trusting what the facts are; believing what the people say; Reasonableness of communication; Integrity of character; Possible work produced to support the individuals' portfolio of experience.

Todays' situation will only have to do with husbands and wives. Marriage is one of my favourite topics to write about. Warren and Elfrieda used to do 'fireside chats' (In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly.) and sit, facing one another, and discussing 'current issues,' at 225. 

Here's an example:

Warren felt he had a lot of experience from his first marriage. Elfrieda felt she had a lot of experience from her first marriage.

Husband and Wife live alone, together. This is a new marriage for both of them.

Current wife has no criminal record.

It is unsure if husband has a clean record.

To the best of their knowledge, in their marriage, neither has committed adultery against each other.

Husband has had escalating emotional episodes of spontaneous anger within the past two years. There is no particular, identifiable, reason because all of their respective children are 'out of the house' at last.

Wife has blogged about some of these incidents, instead of publishing in hard copy (almost all psychology self-help books are, about half, situational to individual cases in order for people to arrive at that ah hah moment of understanding; for the purpose of resolving personal relationship problems).

So, really simple example.

Wife is sleeping on a Saturday, late night... and awakens, before midnight, to take a senior citizens' pee. Groggily, she gets out of bed, goes to the bathroom, her elbow knocks a perfume bottle off her round, antique mirror on the left side of the vanity, next to the toilet. Wife has purchased three bottles of her favourite kind of perfume from local drug mart store and a few other bottles, in that month. 

The noise, of the perfume bottle hitting the floor evokes a challenge from the bedroom, as the husband says, "Did you close the windows?

"No, I didn't close the windows," wife says. 

Husband replies, "Because I just turned off your air conditioner and opened all the windows."

"I didn't close any windows," wife calmly responds to his agitative voice. She goes back into the bedroom. 

Husband jumps out of bed saying, "I am so tired of this," and leaps to confront his wife and with a unreal fierceness, says, "I'm going to punch you in the face."

Wife jumps back.

Husbands' fist glances off her chest and she starts screaming that he has hit her.

Husband smirks, tries to shush her and wife says he needs to get out of their bedroom.

He doesn't immediately leave the room. 

She gets a frying pan, to defend herself.

When his arm is raised again, the frying pan is used as a shield and husbands' fingernails cut his forehead.

Husband has the audacity to get a court order to lock up all of his wifes' belongings, her personal business inventory, her entire lifes' possessions, including clothing, her published novels, her 18 finished, hand- made, quilts, hand- made pillow cases, an entire house contents from her 48 years of collecting before she ever met this husband. 

Wife is forced to live in hotel and then try to find income to live in costly rental while this debacle is on the warming rack.

So, simple enough situation.

Question: Is this legal? 

I don't think so.

Question: Does the husband have dementia? Does he have OCD? Is he being dishonest about anything that he has been unwilling to divulge to the wife?

Question: Is their relationship able to salvaged?

Question: What is the best path forward for the working careers of each individual?

Wife has been bonded. Husband hasn't.

Can this be resolved in a 'fireside chat?'

Kiss of Promise

 I have all my personal information at 225 5th Avenue, N.E., in Dauphin. It is being guarded by my husband who has assured me that... should even one item of my personal belongings be missing when I can pick up all I own... he, himself will personally pay for anything that is missing or damaged.

That is what a husband should do.

This is my guitar... It's in a black cardboard case with denim- style stitching on it. Warren will guard that with his whole heart. He knows how much music means to me.

So, on the night table... some people say 'coffee table' (both of mine are still at 225)... so, on the bare floor (I am also waiting for that lovely blue rug I purchased at the furniture store in Dauphin) of the apartment I am renting; I am reading 'Why Marriages Succeed or Fail... by John Gottmann, PH.D.

This kiss of promise encapsulates...  I have all my personal information at 225 5th Avenue, N.E., in Dauphin. It is being guarded by my husband who has assured me that... should even one item of my personal belongings be missing when I can pick up all I own... he, himself will personally pay for anything that is missing or damaged.

This photo was taken in the back yard of 225... this is our wedding day... so, I wanted everything to be very legal when it came to 'where I moved my belongings'. That's why we got married right on the property where all of my life possessions were. I only feel comfortable with my investments around me.

I was told that if you get married on a property... your legal rights to it are very firm and should there be any renovations or upgrades done by the couple in the photo, the owners, that is a absolute sign of foundational principles of marriage being displayed in the 'bettering' of the house they have lived in together. 

McMunn's, in Dauphin, was in ecstasy every time I picked up building materials in a year when one employee said... 'I would never pay these prices for lumber.'

I can't even count how many trips to the lumber stores I made to buy all the materials for the upgrades. This was my work.

Warren was at Norwex... getting paid by that company.

I should mention that I, Elfrieda, have three sons. Warren has four sons. 

We kept our lives, very separate, in this respect... for respect, of course.

Christmas on my mind

Novel

My novel, The Orchard Walk El Dueck quote... "Flanked by mortared pillars, dry stacked stone walls... often stood for centuries. Tiny flower seeds that had been wind tossed into the cracks... sprouted and became green plants that happily flowered..."

This is a photo I took, I think it was in Bath.

The only trip I have ever made, across the pond, is always going to be the most important one, for me, as I had written about this little country in my novel and, as I walked the undulating streets I would look for depictions of my written work, snap a photo, so I could use these 'real life,' "I took these photos," representation as the next step in my live and breathe my work chapter of authenticity.

I know I've said this before but I will say it again... El's quote- "A book that has a life to it, is always relevant."

So, I am getting annoyed that my 14, 15 boxes of books aren't in the city yet... Warren needs to get them to me now. 

I am sure Warren won't allow one thing to be stolen, from me, because he knows the value of all my lifes' work, to me. This work, my 15 year project is the most interesting work I have ever worked on. I still have a load of photos, on my phone, with all my quilts, made for my project... photographed a month ago.

My external hard drive, in my armoire, are photos of years of my work... my photo history.

 

Every day start with...

I purchased a new stainless steel coffee press... a good cup of coffee every morning is still my favourite start to every day. 

Christmas

Christmas on my mind...

I am still going to use all my Fraiche Christmas decor, this year, that I purchased last year. I'm also awaiting my entire house contents... I admit I'm getting impatient with the tardiness of the packers.

Trust

As I mentioned, in a previous blog, the privilege of being 'bonded' is that you are being trusted with the emotional and physical needs of people who make appointments to have personal work done for them.

A person who fixes appliances must be bonded or they can't come into your home. I actually helped a young man start a small business, exactly like this, back in 2022. I'm not sure if he is still doing that work but I know I helped him start.

A person who works as a 'in- house nanny' must be bonded. Many professionals need this type of help.

I was bonded to sell gravestones, in home consultations.

I have also done in- home consultations for interior design.

So, always be sure to keep your reputation clean so your work can continue in a seamless road of trust and results.

Wedding Rings

Did you know I still have my wedding rings from my 33 year marriage. I have them at my 225 5th Avenue, N.E., Dauphin, Manitoba house.

You can't imagine how 'gold' gets de-valued over time. I remember that the price of gold, in the year my rings were purchased, was very high. Those prices were, then, reflected in jewelry stores.

So, I chose a set of rings, at that time, that were identical in style... the wedding ring is always smaller than the engagement ring. They were both a solitaire with a fsh, or ichthys, on either side of the diamond. Well, it was the ichthys without the tails. This Christian symbol was believed to be the secret symbol, used by early Christians, to prove their Christianity. So, I was very happy to wear these rings which were purchased on April 4, 1981 at Ben Moss, 1501 Polo Park (this is the handwritten address on the receipt). I still have the clarity chart and purchase paper in a safe place. 

Isn't it interesting that I wore these rings for 33 years, the number of years Jesus walked the earth? The only reason that relationship fell apart was that I was still walking in the same direction as Christians have, for centuries, but my, then husband wanted to go with the drinking/ smoking crowd. So, our paths were diverging.

So, I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with these rings. The original price was just $1145.00 before taxes... oh, but, they were on sale. I used the mathematical calculation for what those would be worth today and AI said... $4219.50 in 2026. 

I wonder who would pay me that amount for those rings. I doubt that anyone will but... you never know. Somebody should go see if they're at the pawn shop in Dauphin. That's right across from No Frills. I'm not saying my current husband pawned my stuff... I'm just saying they have that kind of stock, there.

So, people often wonder what their 'lifetime' possessions are worth... and, they may be worth a bit more than suggested by those trying to steal your stuff.

So, I'm sure my current husband is guarding and packing all my stuff for the safe trip to Winnipeg. All my jewelry I purchased, in Dauphin, came from the same store... a Christian family I met at a fundraiser at the church we attended for 9 months or so. The one ring I bought there said it was a topaz but it looks more like a cloudy aquamarine colour and one of the mini stones on the side has already fallen out... all my jewelry is still at 225 5th Avenue, N.E. in Dauphin, Manitoba. I actually purchased this ring from my inheritance money that my folks left me because my brother said I should buy myself a little something, from that, to remember my Mom and Dad. 

Oddly enough, those second marriages aren't nearly the same as first marriages.

In my current marriage, we purchased our own rings and we each paid for our own honeymoon, in England. 

I am trying to follow the advice Warren gave me... don't delete any of your photos... those are your history, dear.

Dearest Warren, 

If you have any travel, hiking plans... please leave a key to the house in care of the church we attended so they can help me get my stuff... Thank you.

Privacy Laws

If I am right about privacy laws... nobody can look at my personal information, or any of my personal possessions without my express permission.

I have never granted anyone permission to touch or go through any of my possessions so I am sure all of my 'lifetime' of paperwork and house contents will not be rifled through at 225 5th Ave. N.E., in Dauphin. 

Key Responsibility

Situation

Husband and wife live alone in a small house.

 A wrongful arrest of a wife, whose husband had threatened to hit her in the face, and then followed through with his fist as she jumped back from his incoming attack..., the fist glanced off her chest due to her quick response... has caused great problems for all involved.

After the wife defended herself, the husband faked a 911 call, saying he was being pursued by his wife. The truth is that he was making a very 'in control' and cognitive 911 call in the basement of their home, lying about the situation to get his wife in the most trouble she has ever had in her life. The husband was in the basement all by himself.

When he came upstairs, the wife offered to assist him but he said... "Oh, no, they are going to see this!"

She did not know who 'they' were so, in order to avert being attacked by him, or whomever he had invited there, again, she got her vehicle keys and wallet identification, for her personal safety. She went outside to go for a drive to let him cool off from his raging anger.

Two days past and the wife and a local pastor requested a chair from the woman's home. The pastor said the husband was insisting on her house key being given back to him... the wifes' house key. The wife did not want to do this because all of her entire lifes' paperwork and possessions are in that house. Knowing the she would be living in the city, a very safe distance from the attack on her, she gave a house and gate key to the pastor... who then gave them to her husband. There are many keys, for that compromised house, in the hands of his family members.

The only things that the husband, then, gave the pastor, to give to his wife, were a few items of clothing, no shoes, scant toiletries, and one chair.

The wife has no income and could only find two friends to couch surf with for three days. The other days were in hotels... the pastors' church paid for the first night in a hotel, seeing the terrible condition that the wife was in.

In order for a apartment rental to be attained, monies that were to be saved, from the wifes' miniscule inheritance, (both her parents passed away 5 1/2 and 4 1/2 years ago), had to wasted on this debacle. These scant funds are not enough for any living expenses and the wife is unsure if she has to sue for the refund of all these expenses or what the financial path to regaining these monies is. 

                                                            .    .    .

I am not a lawyer and I do not really know much about the law at all. I really only know how to follow the law.

Obviously, the people who have keys to this house are responsible for any and all persons they allow to infiltrate the premises. All theft will be the responsibility of the husband because he insisted on the house key, that legally belonged to the wife, being returned, before he allowed any of her possessions to be chosen, by him, to leave the premises. Holding a persons' possessions hostage is a crime of another nature.

The only time I have ever been finger printed, in my law- abiding lifestyle, was when I was asked to do that for a job where I was required to be bondable. The job was a 'home appointments' position, that the client would make to have a representative come into their home to order a gravestone for their deceased loved one. Because of the emotional nature of this transaction, some people prefer to do this memorial work in the privacy of their homes.

So, I still recall how busy the station was and filling out the paperwork for the reason I was paying for finger printing. Nobody pays for these things unless they are wanting a very good job. My name was misspelled and I brought this to the attention of the person I paid. She waved me off, saying... if it's just for a job, you have no criminal record whatsoever. Just show them that you paid. The line- up is long to re-do this.

So, Dudeck would be a little bit funny because, if you know German 'du' means you and a deck, is a deck, which I certainly did build at 225.

This is the deck I built, at 225... treated lumber 2x8's. These are my flowers... I just love flowers.

So, I drove to the employer and they laughed at the mistake but didn't require me to re- do this so the spelling of my name would be correct.

I successfully had a few in- home consultations and felt very accomplished at this extremely sensitive work position.  

Did you know that reputable companies, moving companies, for sure, will advertise that their employees are bonded? The reason they do this is to make sure that they are not blamed for any theft before they pick up a persons' belongings and move them.                                                               

More of my stuff

 

My WWII flag...

Waiting for my stuff

 

Any suggestions?

Warren seems not to understand that my runners are not the same size as his feet so he doesn't need any of my footwear, clothing, fabric, my novels, the 14 boxes of The Orchard Walk by El Dueck, all my quilts...

 My sole proprietorship inventory is mine alone and I am waiting to receive it here in Winnipeg. 

Does anyone have any influence on this person who seems to be holding my 'entire lifetime' possessions hostage... Isn't that strange?

I don't want any of Warren's possessions.

I need some support, for sure, as his current wife. We'll see what the future holds, of course.

I need my bicycle so I can keep my muscles in good working order. I'm not interested in his new bicycle. I just want my old bicyle.

What could be the hold up?

Everything I own is at 225... whom do I send to pick it up? 

 

Lots of furniture.

I did make Warren a quilt for his birthday and he is certainly welcome to keep that quilt (not pictured on this blog) but he is not welcome to keep any of my inventory that I have designed, sewed and created since 2010.

This photo, of my old table and chairs was the first place Warren enjoyed being served yummy food... by me... He probably has very fond memories of this little apartment he came to Winnipeg to visit me... in. This is where he sat for that first breakfast... apple cinnamon pancakes. He just loved those.

Looking for

Looking for jobs has never been more frustrating. 

I have already applied for over 20 jobs and the impossible websites with their terrible programs are unbelievably difficult to manage.

Did you know that everything you apply for in any government program has limitations that do not allow you to easily input information. All you can do is follow the prompts and then hope for an explanation box to correct the programming limitations with accuracy?

Moving Woes

 Moving is a real eye opener if you haven't done that in over 4 years.

These are a few things you will likely suffer as you await your lifelong collection of...

Footwear- My only pair of 'North Face' running shoes, still in great condition, do not give me any blisters on my toes like the brand new summer canvas runners I had to buy as I wait for my household of stuff, here. *Note- Flip flops are the wrong footwear for exercising and going to a walk. My back is suffering from this incorrect footwear as I await my good shoes.

As a arthritis sufferer I actually have had great success in choosing the right footwear for my active lifestyle.

Outerwear- I am the kind of person who has kept all my outerwear for over 20 years now. I purchased a really nice coat at Mega Deals a few months ago... this would be the time I need that... it's a cloth elegance... I think the same as my cream fake fur name brand which I purchased 6 years ago.

Casual clothes- Everyday clothes are so necessary for... well, every day. I have plenty of that... those just need to be where I am.

Professional clothes for interviews and such the like... I save one particular jacket for that... a JR that I purchased about 7 years ago at a greenhouse, on 'what I call greenhouse row' just outside the perimeter. It was a 'once in a lifetime' style buy. I wore that for an interview at a vehicle dealership in 2021. Classic clothes last.

Furniture- It's so hard to wait for all my old furniture which I have such an attachment to... it's emotional... my pink chair that is 36 years old, my dining room set which is 33 years old, my sideboard which is new, purchased in Winnipeg 6 years ago... (actually, all my furniture, except my pink chair, was purchased in Winnipeg), my industrial shelf, 12 years ago, that was a Home Sense buy as well as my armoire, purchased 20 years ago... 

My tea room white slatted top with black wrought iron legs and chairs... featured on the cover of The Orchard Walk El Dueck. I purchased that at Eaton's. 

My collection is aging but well loved, by me.

I really needed my brand new printer 10 minutes ago to print a legal document.

Just waiting for that phone call.

Writing

 Book II 

Simmy's phone rang and she put aside her laptop and answered.

"Hey, this is Sam. Would you help me out on this self- defense paper I'm working on? You were hit by your husband and I think you can, maybe, help by your experience."

"Yes, absolutely. Start with a definition that is simple and direct. Write this down. "Self- defense or self- defence in Commonwealth English is a countermeasure that involves defending the health and well- being of oneself from harm."

"Got it. So, in your instance, were you able to defend yourself from harm?" Sam hesitated, trying to recall how the situation had transpired.

"Not completely but my countermeasure, a common kitchen cooking pot was a very effective shield."

"Ahh, yes. That was good thinking on your part. The least harmful is always the best. I'll call again if I need a little more information," Sam tipped his chair back and put his legs up on the desk. "It's afternoon coffee time. Take a break. You've always been too hard on yourself. You can't take responsibility for the initial attack. That was unprovoked. You were just defending yourself." 

                                                            .    .    . 

P.S. Still waiting for my bicycle, which is still at 225, in Dauphin... Make sure nobody is using it! I bought that in 2019... I still like it!

Book Unpublished

All of my unpublished works are currently at my 225 house, in Dauphin. I really need my handwritten work to continue working on this. A little silver metal box with my memory stick, of my first published novel, is very valuable for me to be able re- publish. Another memory stick, of a bygone pastor is also in that box. It needs to be protected. 

I am working on my next posting.

This is my rough copy of my novella that is in that location... right now. I am praying that all my work, from my past, is protected and will arrive here unharmed.

My white basket of test papers is very important to me. I put the entire basket into a heavy duty Co-op bag with handles... for safe storage.

Here is an example of book II. Copywritten (El Dueck) 

Chapter-

The Just Shall Live By Faith

Life in this small town was really getting to be an unsteady gait of secrets. There was joblessness but most of the township was run by government funded programs so the pace of life was very slow. The only people awaiting opportunities were the new residents, people who were married to someone who was transferred there.

Simmy had met quite a few locals. A retired judge. a beautiful Irish woman who seemed transposed in a town that scarcely thought of a place like Ireland.

One of the best small businesses in town had one of the best architectural footprints in a place where the rare project was mostly municipal, or provincial. The juxtaposition of the early century brickwork married to the modernity of steel echoes from city to city, across the prairies.   

                                                        .    .    .

I am also waiting for my 'Cosco' two- step ladder to reach the higher places, in my current rental, for the job of cleaning. 

Surplus

 I got just a tiny bit excited when I saw an ad for a company that I have hauled quite a bit of furniture out of in the last four years.

So, Friday, I purchased a double mattress. I am intending for it to sit atop an old antique bed frame that I purchased at a garage sale on Hawthorne. I also purchased an old antique bed frame at a 'cottage country' garage sale last summer or the summer before. That one is an exact replica of one I purchased, circa 1986.

The sofa, sectional, grey chair with wood leg repair, and leather chair with turned leg were all hauled to Dauphin in my truck. I am so grateful I had a truck at that time. I had very strong opinions about the styles and chose all of them to my great enjoyment. Although I love the button- tufted sofa for all the sleeping comfort it provided for me in the last three years, I am thinking the sectional, although not my favourite colour, would work best for me because of carrying weight and moving into a small space. I am also very grateful that my chair, which was amicably moved from current address, by my husband and a pastor, to the church I attended, is being safely stored for me until I can find someone to help me with getting those pieces to where I currently live. I hope my current vehicle can make that long drive without mechanical problems.

The first pieces were purchased in 2023 and the next in 2024.

Now I have applied to work at this place. I really hope this works out well. I could use some surplus.

The think I would have enjoyed working at the decorating place I applied at, in person, in the out of town location. I purchased some vinyl plank flooring for the bathroom renovation, at that store, and then installed it. I find the glues somewhat toxic but the brand new subfloor made the installation very smooth. 

The cleaning business, in the same town, I also applied at, three times, in person, but I was not nearly as excited about that position and each time, I was told, they didn't have any openings. 

Then I applied at the store where the tub, vanity, and kitchen taps were purchased but they didn't have an opening either. It sure was fun, for me, getting those projects completed.

Re- Fresh

 So, last Christmas I purchased a lot of the 'Fraiche' (pronunciation- 'fresh') line of Christmas ornamentation for decorating. I bought a fake Christmas tree. I purchased the metal 'Merry Christmas.' I can't remember how many garlands I bought. I bought a beautiful gold resin tree. Gold bells... 9 gold metal dinner bells... many other gold metal matte bells as well... the lovely stringer of bells that I decorated my bathroom with... I really love that line of decorations. 

I also purchased a cedar tree, which is on the fake fireplace mantel, from a local florist who retired right after that. I also purchased a tiny little blue glass purse, as an ornament for my Christmas tree. I really tried to buy a metal basket- weave garden table, from her, but I couldn't quite convince her to sell her fathers' work to me. Her father was still alive, at that time, and he had created amazing iron works in his youth. He may have, even, made the fencing at the B&B... possibly the most romantic fences in that town.

The Fraiche tea towels were such a favourite of mine. I still have maybe four or more in the linen closet at the house. They may still have the packaging on them. They're ecru and have a stitched bow, in monochromatic thread, on them, as well as a ruffle. I won't have to re- buy those for years.

My red and white square box of glass Christmas ornaments is a collection I have been working on for 40 years... often just one or two per year.

There was one Christmas idea that Warren borrowed from me.

I had purchased two very large, I will call them garland hooks, when I owned my 29 year house. They were a 'strong enough' method to hold garland, Christmas lights, and some ornaments. The beauty of a long- time ownership of a house is that you can do these things without making phone calls to anyone because ownership surpasses rentals. I think I purchased the ones I had in my 29 year house from a business that still exists in Bird's Hill but also used to have a location on Academy Road. I think I left those in my house when I had to sell it because they do require a bit of installing for weight. I may still have a photo of my ornamental hooks on my external hard drive in my armoire out of town. My birth certificate is also in there... one of those updates we have to re-fresh when we are of the generation that still had typewritten birth certificates. This is a method I use for remembering where I put things. Put these important documents with this so you remember that... I'm sure many people have interesting methods for where to put important things.

Like most people, Christmas is often about vintage, a memory collection of ornaments... and, last Christmas I really decided to re- fraiche (re- fresh), and I'll use the whole collection I purchased last year, this year again.

Just like my vintage La Canadienne boots that I wear to Handels' Messiah or Christmas Eve service... my little black boots with the silver buckle, over 20 years old now, can still be purchased as booties. 

That's how... Everything old becomes new again.

Where's my stuff?

 So, I have sent 12 pages of house contents to my lawyer and a few others... waiting to get my furniture and entire life items, purchased over 45 years... and I am not sure what the hold up is on Warren's end at 225 5th Avenue, N.E. in Dauphin... my home for four plus years. 

If you see anybody making off with my stuff... make sure it is going to my storage locker in Winnipeg.

Pardon me, is this helping?

 Dear Elfrieda,

My dear friend suffered a very bad incident. Her husband yelled at her for closing a window, which is no crime anyone's world, but the husband has some very strange hang- ups. He had just turned off her air conditioner and opened all the windows in their house. She had been awakened by this. It was just after midnight. After going to the bathroom, (old people do this a lot), she re- entered the bedroom assuring him that she had not closed the windows he had just opened. Maybe he didn't hear her correctly because he leapt out of bed, put his face a few inches from hers and said, "I'm going to punch you in the face." She pulled back and his fist glanced across her left chest and shoulder and with that move, she avoided the worst of his attack. She screamed, "You hit me," so many times, with those open windows, and he was trying to shush her. Then she defended herself. Do you think she should be arrested for this or should they both be arrested for this? Or... should they be adults and 'stand down' and be Christians and admit to the facts as they happened? 

I may have received some information incorrectly because she sent some pictures of her ankles with leg iron rubbing. She didn't send any pictures of his ankles. 

                                                                                                    How do I help?

Dear 'How do I help'?

Obviously, I think it is possible that you  may have some of this information incorrect. A man who starts a fight, yelling at his wife, and then hits his wife, would be the one to blame in the situation you just wrote to me about. Maybe the husband lied about the situation? Is this possible? I know that, in Canada, self- defense is legal as long as a persons' actions are reasonable and necessary to protect oneself. If this situation happened in a domestic location, only the husband and wife know the facts. 

                                                                                                    I hope this helps

P.S. The topics I deal with are varied so feel free to address other issues as well,... financial, relationship building, living together in harmony, shared spaces in todays' world, etcetera.

Moving

 I'm working on page 12 of my household items that I have sent to my contact. He is forwarding my journal 'pages from memory' to Warren so he can fulfill his requirements. 

It is quite a lot to ask of me to try to remember everything I own since I was seventeen years old.

My storage unit is costing me each day. I hope things move along a bit faster... soon.

I think the legs to my harvest table have to be removed to get the table out of the front room and I hope those bolts don't get stripped... I bought that in 1993. The six chairs, one arm chair, and five side chairs are so unique with that teal stain and natural oak combination. Some think old furniture is, well, old fashioned, but I love what I purchased way back. I bought that dining room set at Wilson's. Does anyone remember that Main Street furniture store? It think it was a family run store.

So, I am a person who tries to follow rules of requirement. I much prefer to make the rules for myself. I have always found I get things done much faster that way.

My new goals are to help get my life back in order and to help my three children and my grandchildren.

Four Years

 What have I accomplished in just over four years?

A town without possibilities is not really the way a person wishes to think about somewhere new.

So, while I applied for positions I wished to work in, I just got down to work building this gazebo. The photo you're looking at here, was a kit, a 12x12 Arlington gazebo with electric. Now, what you really need to know is that it comes in heavy flat boxes... over 600 pounds. The photo you are looking at is the 'built' kit which I did with the help of Warren. Warren actually didn't know which kit to buy so I made that decision for him because the vision of how to turn this bare shelter into a screened wonder with sliding doors, was definitely, my vision and then, of course, execution. 

If you notice the double 2x4's all the way around, that was necessary to put bracing edge to edge in order to put a 4x4 treated lumber post, ceiling to floor. Two braces were installed in each section of the gazebo.

 I made so many trips to McMunn's, while Warren was at his job,... this became my work. As you can see, from the photo, the deck was completed at this stage. It should be noted that Elfrieda and Warren were the only two people who built this project. Truly, that is most amazing because there was a step, in the instructions, that said... 'This is a three man step,' but we, somehow, handled it even though I thought it was a bit dangerous to do so. We used pulleys to drag the roof into place. It was a slow step, that one.

I had brought two sets of barn door hardware, about $369.00 plus taxes (Home Depot), with  me, when I moved to this property.

These were used to build two sliding doors on the front of the gazebo. 

As you can see here, the sliding doors were two $49.00 finger- jointed screen doors that needed to be heavily shored up to give them a stable structure. This was accomplished with treated 2x4's on the sides and the bottom. That gave the doors a nice heavy form that has weathered three winters. All the front part here, I designed, specifically, for this project. On both sides of these sliding doors, a garden arch, pictured below, was installed. I had, originally, purchased five of them for our backyard wedding, October 8, 2022 at 225 5th Avenue, N.E. Dauphin, MB.

I, Elfrieda, screened the entire gazebo while Warren was at his job. The three sides were reinforced with fence panels that I purchased at Canadian Tire, Panacea Finial Decorative Border fence panel, 30"x37" each. I used nine panels for the gazebo and then bought six plus for my gardening. The large piece of fencing you see on the left, I had purchased at Lowe's before I moved away from Winnipeg. 

The gazebo, being a 12x12, actually had a bit of a smaller footprint so a 12x12 deck was what we built to put the gazebo on top of it.

The awnings I specially designed for this gazebo. 

When I moved to this property, there was quite a lot of backfill that was needed at the back entrance to the house. The soil had eroded and there was at least a six inch height that needed to be filled in order to bring the ground up  to a 'seven inch' space from ground to back door. This was done after the gazebo was built. A seven inch step is normal for any stairs. After this back fill, I scrounged every Barkman Bridgewood Slab that I could find in that town. Then I purchased a couple more from a garage sale... someone who had built a 'fire table barbecue stand' and had some pieces leftover.

I really felt that the location of this gazebo was a good one for a number of reasons. There was a step, concrete, in the back yard, that I smashed my toes on so many times, my toenails still haven't grown out. This strange idea would likely have been done by the original homeowner... possibly before we were born. That dastardly step is now covered by the gazebo... never to cause harm again.

I dug all the post holes for the concrete blocks, which were not very deep. The back of the gazebo has adjustable jack posts for leveling. 

I painted or stained everything the way it is. 

The space between the gazebo and the house is now a very nice courtyard.

I laid more weed cloth than I have ever done. The entire ground under the gazebo is covered in weed cloth. All the gravel and stone paths that I created had weed cloth underneath as well.

This garden box I dragged all the way from Winnipeg to 225... and, it may be coming back now. I am the gardener. Warren is not. 

I planted enough tomatoes, last year, to make enough homemade tomato sauce for my winter cooking. It was such a delicious sauce because I used about 5 varieties of  tomatoes in my sauce and we ate meals, from my work, all winter, until about April, this year.

The tomatoes are, again, coming in. I had a taste last week that is just spectacularly delicious. I hope I can get the rest of my crop.

So, this was quite a heavy investment, on my part... so much design, building and sweat equity. 

I'll talk about the bathroom renovation another day.

Couch Slouch

 Dear Elfrieda,

My friend, who was forced into some couch surfing, since the marital discord, has really had hard questions about her human rights. 

Is a fist a weapon? Is a frying pan a weapon if its used the same way? 

                                                                                            Very Concerned

Dear Very Concerned,

I am assuming that your mention of your friend couch surfing means she doesn't have a solid home to live in... or, was the home she was living in not solid? Marriage does bring certain rights, you know... even now, in our strange relationships world.

Now, dealing with your second question about a fist being a weapon; I was informed that there are combat fighting arts, like jujitsu, that require self discipline and restraint in day to day living circumstances. A person trained in such an art would certainly not be flailing fists and saying they're a peace loving individual. 

Most people use frying pans for cooking. Movies portray a vastly different use of a frying pan in kitchen scenes. This is such a strange question, I hope my answers were sufficient to help you figure out defending motions.

Another tip- make sure your lawyer knows you have a storage unit ready for all your belongings. Contact immediately with a note- storage unit booked and then make an exhaustive list... even if you have to make it from memory... to make sure you can get a truck rolling... to get your house contents to where you are. As soon as you get the phone call that your things are ready to be transported, safely, to the correct 'rented storage,' then you can rest easy about theft and that kind of thing.

                                                                                             Hope this helps  

P.S. Is this a situation of... 'They who are not for me, are against me?'

Not Romantic

 Dear Elfrieda,

My friend is in a relationship that has turned very sour. The man she married, now 65, seemed like a good guy for almost two years and then things took a turn for the 'are you remembering correctly' next two years.

Lately, he had taken to sleeping outside because he said it was cooler. His temper was not cooler. On a weekend, after midnight- ish, on a Saturday, my friend awakened. He had decided to sleep in bed that night. Going to the bathroom, the wife heard him demand... "Did you close the windows?" She replied that she had not closed the windows. He had turned off the air conditioner and opened all the windows. He must not have heard so when she re- entered the bedroom, he was snapping like a turtle and then he leaped out of bed and confronted his wife, an inch from her face, and said, "I will punch you in the face." His wife pulled back and he landed his fist under her chin and across her chest."

Do you think their relationship is over?

                                                                                            Very Concerned

Dear Very Concerned,

The 'over 65 agers' can be a vibrant group of people but not everyone has perfect health and physical fitness and optimal thinking as this is the beginning of retirement for many and the transition from full- time thinking to handling all of lifes' ups and downs takes quite a lot of patience; with oneself, and with others.

At 65, we aren't backpacking and camping and trekking through the woods like we do in our 30's. We have a bit more sense in knowing our boundaries of output and our levels of exhaustion have certainly changed.

If there is a personality change that has turned from agreeable to hostile, it would be best if a physical exam, which most people get once a year, is adhered to. If there has been a huge dietary change, some people go from 'Canada food guide' to 'Keto crazy' and think there won't be any adverse effects. Fad diets are called fads for a reason. Fasting, overly much, brings about a drastic change as well. There can be this... 'I went without food for 20 hours so I need food now' thing. That is a very demanding schedule for anyone if their partner is a traditional 'man goes to work' and 'woman takes care of the home' relationship.

Brain energy, a fantastic book I read this year, gives great detail about the huge variances of thinking, reacting, and behaviour. 

                                                                                        Hope this helps

Winnipeg

 So, now I'm in Winnipeg, looking for a place to live.

I'm looking to the future, for a future.

All my belongings will need to be hauled to Winnipeg... I've got a whole houseful of furniture and stuff and quilts... and bookshelves, and my bicycle. I could list things here but that would take a lot of time.

This is a lot of work, for me... to get done by third party?