Why do we need brain energy?

 I have just finished reading a book that is full of important information about my brain and your brain.

I was actually asked to read this book and, although the person who asked me hasn't yet paid me for my research... I am very willing to accept money for relaying information... as research is such a great love of mine.

I will write on this topic a few times, likely.

It may surprise you to know, or not, if you know me very well... that I won't relay information, from anyone, if I think it is nonsense.

Now, let's simplify the world of mental illness and brain energy... because, the brain is the beautiful computer we all have been given to inform every decision, every action, every thought leading to an action, every command that makes your day easier. 

Example- Let's say your brain says... Write a book.

So, a normal process in writing a book is like this...

Q. What should I write about?

A. They say write about, what you know about.

Then you have to organize what you are writing. I had two books, on this topic, to choose from and I must say... the book I read is very much my preference over the other. I did not like the jargon or the style of writing of the other book. It might surprise you to realize that every person has a 'preferred' way of learning.

For instance, why do we have so many preachers? Well, we have so many finicky people who won't go to listen to this guy, don't like that gal, don't think she has too much to offer in the way of a graduate studies knowledge- based informative half hour... don't think his accent is conducive to understanding what the heck he is trying to say. He keeps using words that aren't even English... and the list goes on.

Did you know that, in the world of psychiatry, common conditions like dementia, depression, and anxiety are considered mental illness? Before reading this book, I definitely didn't know that.

I thought dementia was forgetfulness... possibly leading to a really big problem if it gets too bad. (I knew a woman who kept leaving the stove element on after she was done cooking and she was still in her 30's when she had this problem.) I thought depression was feeling sad for any number of reasons... job loss, relationship loss, purpose of life loss. I thought anxiety was a feeling of nervousness, not necessarily grounded in reality, but still needful to be addressed if a feeling of peace does not come along to erase these insecure feelings. 

So, guess what... the paragraph, above, my 'laymans' terms is correct. 

When I was raising my children, I believed that good food was the best medicine and guess what! The book I just read would agree that food is absolutely core and central to feeding the brain what it needs to respond properly.

Starvation is very, very dangerous to the whole body shutting down and never working again.

Surgery of the brain... I only know one person, in the family, who had brain surgery and that is a very invasive procedure that is going to take a long time to heal from. The initial healing took about two years during which time her husband kindly covered for all sorts of things that 'she used to  notice' but, during the time of healing, she didn't notice. 

Now, many people might imagine she had mental illness if they hadn't known that she had surgery because the symptoms of recovery were very similar to dementia in the loss of memory. Then there was response time... everything  slows down when the brain needs to heal. Her world changed so dramatically that... if she had not had a supportive family, she would have ended up in a facility where people don't care what happens to you. I know she is grateful to all of us who helped out.

I just now recall a person who was attacked in a another country while on a 'charity trip.' Her head was bashed by sword- wielding marauders... she got luckier than most because the neurosurgeon who treated her happened to attend the church we were going to when this happened. She did heal and then tried to go back to work but I think she was required to retire earlier than she'd planned because a brain injury brought on by violent attack has a lot of repercussions.

Day to day... what are we all trying to accomplish in living a good life?

Shift- my acronym for this year has been...

S- Safety 

Sh- Safe housing

I- Integrity (I was reading a big section in a different book, yesterday evening, on integrity.)

F- Food

T- Transportation

The biggest roadblock you are going to find, in handling life issues, are people who either have no experience to offer a helping hand... refuse to give, either financially, physically or emotionally... or refuse to recognize their own weaknesses and then mercifully reach out to kindly help another, remembering that they were helped... 

So, if you don't hear from your children... this is likely not good. They probably aren't surrounded by the the best people... be aware of changes in behaviour... those are huge clues that something may be amiss. Always contact to see if they are alright or needing your help.

How many years?

 Wow! I have been without any money for four long years in this place called Dauphin.

I have had to support myself with the tiny little inheritance that my folks left me.

I will show you, here, some of the work I have done at 225, 5th Avenue.

The picture, above, is what the floor looked like under the ink and  dirt stained indoor/ outdoor carpeting that was full of dog pee... in the bedroom I was supposed to sleep in. The glue all over the 1/8 inch thick hardwood was terrible to get off. 

The photo, of the bedroom we sleep in, now, same bedroom, is a picture after I painted/ stained all the surfaces you can see here... baseboards, casings, walls, ceiling, floors... I did all this while he was at work, getting paid... and, I was not getting paid. 

Shouldn't I get paid?

The first two years, here, Warren seemed 'in control' of himself but, since October of 2024, he has been showing a violent tendency toward 'possible dementia.' 

This photo was taken before he became surly, argumentative, and possibly forgetful to the point of 'dementia?'

He forgets things. He has taken to calling me names. He is not this happy man anymore and I am very worried.

This is the gazebo that we built, together... Warren and Elfrieda. He actually didn't know anything about building or construction but I just started the deck and he happily followed. 

    Now, before I agreed to build this project I asked him, "Are you committed to this project?" 

    He laughed. 

    I said, "Really, are you committed to this project? I know people who 'buck out' on me in the middle of something and I am not sure about your ability to stick to something or complete something or if you even have the character of 'stick- to- it- ive- ness." 

    He looked a bit confused and responded with, "I'll stick to the project until it's completed."

So, I started by digging the first hole for the foundation and then the second and third and fourth. In between buying materials at McMunn's, I would just work at it.

    This little building took six months to complete but only Elfrieda and Warren did the work. I, Elfrieda, had already brought two 'barn door ironmongery' packages from Home Depot with me... when I moved here, so the doors we built are hung from my iron... almost $600. 00 just for those two packages. It was a very costly project. 

     So, here's a photo of the deck, 2x8's for the floor, very solid. The dark brown parts is a 'kit' that we purchased to get a framework for people who don't quite have the time or skill to build everything from scratch. My tea room table, pictured on the front of my novel, is on the deck being used for my painting table and, as you can see, I had already stained the finger- jointed doors that we turned into very sturdy doors for my barn door ironmongery. This is a photo of the project only about halfway to being finished.

These are fences I purchased... the one on the left I brought here... the 'church window' metal garden trellises I purchased in this town... I bought five of them. Two of them are attached to the either side of the sliding doors of my gazebo.

I still have four of these chairs, which I brought here... I purchased these so long ago but I still have the receipt from Eaton's... who keeps things this long? Elfrieda.

Here's a good picture of the sliding doors... we built those awnings... all four of them. I hauled the Barkman patio stones in my truck, before it was crashed. The wood- look Barkman stones is what I picked... I bought all they had at Co-op building supply and McMunn's.

    So, I am quite worn out with all the work I have done at 225 5th Avenue... Whew! 

 

Culture

 ... and Christianity? 

When I think about the ways people try to bring Christianity into culture, I often think that I would probably lay the foundation from which to lead, teach, explain, example, for sure, before I would talk too much about culture.

The way I was raised, was quite different from some other families that I grew up with. My Dad had his own way of thinking and implementing a lifestyle, which some might call our culture, into the day to day living of the family. 

We were encouraged to 'get a job,' earn some money, start saving for our lives once we moved out of the family home.

We all followed this dictum and, before we moved out of the safety of the nest, we all followed the rules.

So, let's talk about only one thing today that differentiated our family from another family we knew. 

Paychecks.

There was a strange and, we haven't quite figured out if it was a 'cultish' thing or a 'communist' thing or a 'wow, are you confused thing...,' but there was one very dictatorial, and I would have said, almost evil man, who took, forcefully, his childrens' paychecks. Woah, we could not understand this insanity.

So, when we found a 'job' or 'work that paid,' we got the family living rules and we either followed the rules, argued with my dad about them until we thought his rules had some sanity and equity in them... example... "How can you possibly imagine that I am going to pay you as much as someone who earns twice as much?" 

Dad, of course, being a man of reason, was always willing to listen to the 'what's fair' debate that I would have with him.

So, if ever you run into strange men and women, of a very odd culture who, somehow, believe they have the right to steal a relatively large portion of what actually belongs to another family member... I would bring up the topic of 'human rights' and how a culture that respects each other is likely to have a much more peaceable existence than one that is founded upon warring principles that create animosity and a fight for survival. 

If people knew what was going on, in certain families or companies, (almost unthinkable in Canada, a civilized country), thinking, intelligent people would never support such a diametrically opposed 'culture' of 'theft- based' unjust gain... even if someone is doing this in a family... because this behaviour is only a forcible insanity that will bring about violence and clashes of familial feuding or, company feuding.

When I raised my children, I never took their paychecks. I would have thought that to be 'criminal.' 

So, if you want to be a reasonable, respected, and legacy based 

family, organization, company, 

culture, 

do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. This tends to get the most peaceable results.

 

Waiting for something good

 So, I haven't, yet, seen any money or anything good for so many years... I am getting very worried.

I am looking forward to seeing my sons and my grandchildren.

Drive away 'regrets'

How do we drive away regrets? 

Today, I would like to tell you what my Dad told me... what he regretted. Well, I will only tell this one thing for those who should realize what a devastating effect this can be.

My Dad regretted allowing his wife to be 'put into' a nursing home. What he told me was... "I didn't think she would be in there forever. I thought I would still be able to take her home."

I hadn't signed for her to be 'put in there' because I had worked in a nursing home when I was a teenager and I knew that was not a place I ever wanted to go to and, most certainly, I never imagined one of my parents would be placed into a facility of that kind.

So, one day, somewhat early on... I like to use language like... early into her, (my Mom's), forced incarceration because she, quite literally, could not get out... I visited my Dad. 

As usual, he was sitting at his kitchen table with his Bible and, on this day, I just put things into the kitchen and sat down to listen to him... he was very adept at 'talk therapy.' He was a man who needed to talk things out and he was never too proud to ask an opinion of his children who had a much better grasp of the English language than he did.

He often took something out to talk about something that was important to him. On this day, it was Mom's driver's license. "This is good," he said. 

Mom was over 40 years of age when she got her driver's license. It was her 'proud moment.' It was also Dad's proud moment. You see, mostly, my Dad wasn't one to 'hold out on' or 'hold back' the progress his family made. So, on this day, Dad was holding Mom's driver's license... and having a very good memory. He was sad because Mom was no longer in their home but he was still celebrating her achievement. 

The best thing we can do in life is to live in such a way that we become adept at the skill of 'driving away regrets.'

Calling in to question

 I am calling into question the reputation, based on behaviour, of the families that my sons married into.

Without the right information, I would also call into question my own families' banal replies, a year ago, that my sons are healthy, wealthy, and wise and working for their houses, vehicles, and children... and, maybe, wives... maybe not. I'm not sure.

For the last few days I have been disseminating information, on my blog, to get the correct responses. 

I have also been studying the psychological problems that are, today, considered pervasive in our society. One book I am, currently, reading is written by a very young man but I am finding the information immensely helpful. When I was about 26 years old I was going to become a psychologist. I was working at a café, bored beyond bored with the endless pouring of coffee. So, I looked into the courses I would need to take at the local university, not the university across the pond where I actually took courses for interior design 13 years later. 

The reason I had, at that time, believed that I would make a very good psychologist was... everywhere I went, people would tell me their life stories. It was like a light bulb went on and I thought, maybe it is ethical to receive a wage if I help someone. 

What happened next was... a virus... I was working in a public place and I got a terrible virus. Only once, since then, have I had a virus that bad. It felt like I had vertigo and the doctor said that I had developed an infection in my main control center at the back of the brain stem. Woah, I had to take a few days off of work, for the first time in my life. I had never missed a day of work, until then. It took a few days and I was back at the same boring job and I didn't sign up for those psychology courses because those few days of not receiving income blew my budget right out of the water and I realized I would have to save some money if I wanted to be able to afford higher education.

So, I went back to work... pouring more coffee.

Here I am, 36 years later, and I am really learning about brain energy and what happens when your brain is attacked by a virus... I hope to heavens that is the only reason you ever suffer a brain injurious problem.

I have written in a journal, of mine, something I said to my son when he was very young... "You need to think right." He replied, "Well, how do you know who has right thinking?" 

At the time, I thought he had the question half right... his question of who has right thinking was correctly valid but it should have been prefaced with... 'how do you know what is right thinking?'

So, I would love to prove that wrong motives can be sifted through to call into question behaviour that is so obviously wrong that anybody would call them on the carpet. Colloquially, to call someone on the carpet means to criticize someone for doing something wrong. People don't use this old idiom much but I like it... maybe because I sold a lot of carpets.

It's going to take more than one day for me to detail experiences that I would say are 'good ways' to respond versus 'bad ways' to respond. Social graces is a topic that should be taught everywhere because the world, in general, has forgotten what social graces is, as a class, not brash response.

I'm going to start with something simple...

Diet

If you want to have a functioning brain, you must eat right. I would tell my sons, and anyone who wants to think right... you must eat right. 

I will give you a small example from my dear departed father. When his dear wife was put into a nursing home, he really suffered. My dad was so lonely, he didn't bother cooking himself anything. He went into a real slump, emotionally, and he talked out this event each time I visited him. That was healthy. 

He did hire someone to cook one food item and apportion them into containers and fill his freezer so he had this 'favourite food,' of his, to eat every day. That was the one right thing my dad actually did for his diet but, it wasn't quite enough to make his thinking clear and concise. One day, I visited him before he had a good meal and stayed long enough to watch him eat the entire thing... and I thought, oh, he does like good food... he just doesn't have anyone to make him food. So, myself, and some sisters, starting bringing homemade food and putting into his fridge/ freezer. My youngest brother visited one time, from out west, and said he'd tried all the food I had brought and he said it was all good. So, I thought, this is a good thing.

Now, for the brain to work correctly, good food is a must and, forsuredly, a staple. If my sons needed homemade food, I could certainly do that and make sure there was food for them every day, in the freezer, so they can lead a healthy life...

precisely as I took care of them when they were still living "at home." I just need to be contacted so I am aware of their situations. That is normal behaviour... to contact when you need help... or, as I do, contact to offer help and ask if there is a need. This is normal and helpful and, many times, needful.

And, I know, for sure, that each of the eight children in my family, has enough children to take care of their parents, my old siblings, so I am only volunteering to help my own children because that is fitting and responsible and loving. 

I am waiting for them to contact me.

Going forward, I will address the 'healthy brain, healthy body, healthy actions' processes of life using some very current information to help everyone 'think straight.'

 

Information Accountability

Information accountability is the topic today.

Accountability means responsible; required to account for one's conduct.

I am a very rational person. I raised my sons in a manner fashioned after a Christian organization that adhered to the 'give them a choice' instead of forcing your children because forcing people usually creates rebellious people and if a child is forced to do things they shouldn't be forced to do or keep quiet about things they should never keep quiet about, the resulting situation may well become uncomfortably criminal.

If ever you find yourself mentioned on this blog, know this. I am the only writer of this blog and if I mention you, personally, I am holding you to accountability. I am certainly not saying that you will ever be helped, by me, if you have harmed my children or grandchildren or stolen from them or subverted justice, in their lives, in any way.

So, what are people responsible for? 

Let's start with the basics. 

We are accountable for what we know. I sent a text message to a man, (approximately, October of 2024), who used to have positions of responsibility, in job form, not necessarily in his home. That may have been secondary. You'd have to interview him. He is my sons' father-in-law. I received one text message back from him which said, loosely, "I can't share information with you."

So, then I phoned his wife, whom I had spent a few hundred hours with... I calculated about 1095 hours and that is not including all the hours I spent decorating for their daughters' wedding when she married my son. She answered, '________ here.' I said. 'This is Elfrieda.' She hung up without having another conversation.

So, let's say her husband can't share information with me about my son... why not? He doesn't have to share information about his daughter, with me. I am not responsible for her but, when my son married into that family, I certainly did not expect to lose touch with him for 15 years. I would suggest there is something very diabolical happening in that family. 

Now, whatever information they have would have to be relayed to me, if I were required to try to help my sons or, forsuredly, if I were concerned, and I am, about their well- being.

If you can yet believe this... the couple I am writing about tried to be youth pastors, without any training, and all three of my sons served in the church where they 'gave orders' to my sons to get the 'set- up' for youth night ready for the 'less- churched' youth who didn't volunteer but did show up for free food, etcetera.

Now, I ask you, what has happened to this 'churchified' couple that I can't trust anymore... if, indeed, I ever should have?

I am holding them accountable for any suffering of my son, since he married into their family. 

I am also holding the other two families, that my other sons married into, accountable, for any of the suffering they have encountered without getting help from those precise families... because all three families mentioned on my previous blog professed to be Christians with church affiliation. 

You are accountable for what you know about my children.