Where's my stuff?

 So, I have sent 12 pages of house contents to my lawyer and a few others... waiting to get my furniture and entire life items, purchased over 45 years... and I am not sure what the hold up is on Warren's end at 225 5th Avenue, N.E. in Dauphin... my home for four plus years. 

If you see anybody making off with my stuff... make sure it is going to my storage locker in Winnipeg.

Pardon me, is this helping?

 Dear Elfrieda,

My dear friend suffered a very bad incident. Her husband yelled at her for closing a window, which is no crime anyone's world, but the husband has some very strange hang- ups. He had just turned off her air conditioner and opened all the windows in their house. She had been awakened by this. It was just after midnight. After going to the bathroom, (old people do this a lot), she re- entered the bedroom assuring him that she had not closed the windows he had just opened. Maybe he didn't hear her correctly because he leapt out of bed, put his face a few inches from hers and said, "I'm going to punch you in the face." She pulled back and his fist glanced across her left chest and shoulder and with that move, she avoided the worst of his attack. She screamed, "You hit me," so many times, with those open windows, and he was trying to shush her. Then she defended herself. Do you think she should be arrested for this or should they both be arrested for this? Or... should they be adults and 'stand down' and be Christians and admit to the facts as they happened? 

I may have received some information incorrectly because she sent some pictures of her ankles with leg iron rubbing. She didn't send any pictures of his ankles. 

                                                                                                    How do I help?

Dear 'How do I help'?

Obviously, I think it is possible that you  may have some of this information incorrect. A man who starts a fight, yelling at his wife, and then hits his wife, would be the one to blame in the situation you just wrote to me about. Maybe the husband lied about the situation? Is this possible? I know that, in Canada, self- defense is legal as long as a persons' actions are reasonable and necessary to protect oneself. If this situation happened in a domestic location, only the husband and wife know the facts. 

                                                                                                    I hope this helps

P.S. The topics I deal with are varied so feel free to address other issues as well,... financial, relationship building, living together in harmony, shared spaces in todays' world, etcetera.

Moving

 I'm working on page 12 of my household items that I have sent to my contact. He is forwarding my journal 'pages from memory' to Warren so he can fulfill his requirements. 

It is quite a lot to ask of me to try to remember everything I own since I was seventeen years old.

My storage unit is costing me each day. I hope things move along a bit faster... soon.

I think the legs to my harvest table have to be removed to get the table out of the front room and I hope those bolts don't get stripped... I bought that in 1993. The six chairs, one arm chair, and five side chairs are so unique with that teal stain and natural oak combination. Some think old furniture is, well, old fashioned, but I love what I purchased way back. I bought that dining room set at Wilson's. Does anyone remember that Main Street furniture store? It think it was a family run store.

So, I am a person who tries to follow rules of requirement. I much prefer to make the rules for myself. I have always found I get things done much faster that way.

My new goals are to help get my life back in order and to help my three children and my grandchildren.

Four Years

 What have I accomplished in just over four years?

A town without possibilities is not really the way a person wishes to think about somewhere new.

So, while I applied for positions I wished to work in, I just got down to work building this gazebo. The photo you're looking at here, was a kit, a 12x12 Arlington gazebo with electric. Now, what you really need to know is that it comes in heavy flat boxes... over 600 pounds. The photo you are looking at is the 'built' kit which I did with the help of Warren. Warren actually didn't know which kit to buy so I made that decision for him because the vision of how to turn this bare shelter into a screened wonder with sliding doors, was definitely, my vision and then, of course, execution. 

If you notice the double 2x4's all the way around, that was necessary to put bracing edge to edge in order to put a 4x4 treated lumber post, ceiling to floor. Two braces were installed in each section of the gazebo.

 I made so many trips to McMunn's, while Warren was at his job,... this became my work. As you can see, from the photo, the deck was completed at this stage. It should be noted that Elfrieda and Warren were the only two people who built this project. Truly, that is most amazing because there was a step, in the instructions, that said... 'This is a three man step,' but we, somehow, handled it even though I thought it was a bit dangerous to do so. We used pulleys to drag the roof into place. It was a slow step, that one.

I had brought two sets of barn door hardware, about $369.00 plus taxes (Home Depot), with  me, when I moved to this property.

These were used to build two sliding doors on the front of the gazebo. 

As you can see here, the sliding doors were two $49.00 finger- jointed screen doors that needed to be heavily shored up to give them a stable structure. This was accomplished with treated 2x4's on the sides and the bottom. That gave the doors a nice heavy form that has weathered three winters. All the front part here, I designed, specifically, for this project. On both sides of these sliding doors, a garden arch, pictured below, was installed. I had, originally, purchased five of them for our backyard wedding, October 8, 2022 at 225 5th Avenue, N.E. Dauphin, MB.

I, Elfrieda, screened the entire gazebo while Warren was at his job. The three sides were reinforced with fence panels that I purchased at Canadian Tire, Panacea Finial Decorative Border fence panel, 30"x37" each. I used nine panels for the gazebo and then bought six plus for my gardening. The large piece of fencing you see on the left, I had purchased at Lowe's before I moved away from Winnipeg. 

The gazebo, being a 12x12, actually had a bit of a smaller footprint so a 12x12 deck was what we built to put the gazebo on top of it.

The awnings I specially designed for this gazebo. 

When I moved to this property, there was quite a lot of backfill that was needed at the back entrance to the house. The soil had eroded and there was at least a six inch height that needed to be filled in order to bring the ground up  to a 'seven inch' space from ground to back door. This was done after the gazebo was built. A seven inch step is normal for any stairs. After this back fill, I scrounged every Barkman Bridgewood Slab that I could find in that town. Then I purchased a couple more from a garage sale... someone who had built a 'fire table barbecue stand' and had some pieces leftover.

I really felt that the location of this gazebo was a good one for a number of reasons. There was a step, concrete, in the back yard, that I smashed my toes on so many times, my toenails still haven't grown out. This strange idea would likely have been done by the original homeowner... possibly before we were born. That dastardly step is now covered by the gazebo... never to cause harm again.

I dug all the post holes for the concrete blocks, which were not very deep. The back of the gazebo has adjustable jack posts for leveling. 

I painted or stained everything the way it is. 

The space between the gazebo and the house is now a very nice courtyard.

I laid more weed cloth than I have ever done. The entire ground under the gazebo is covered in weed cloth. All the gravel and stone paths that I created had weed cloth underneath as well.

This garden box I dragged all the way from Winnipeg to 225... and, it may be coming back now. I am the gardener. Warren is not. 

I planted enough tomatoes, last year, to make enough homemade tomato sauce for my winter cooking. It was such a delicious sauce because I used about 5 varieties of  tomatoes in my sauce and we ate meals, from my work, all winter, until about April, this year.

The tomatoes are, again, coming in. I had a taste last week that is just spectacularly delicious. I hope I can get the rest of my crop.

So, this was quite a heavy investment, on my part... so much design, building and sweat equity. 

I'll talk about the bathroom renovation another day.

Couch Slouch

 Dear Elfrieda,

My friend, who was forced into some couch surfing, since the marital discord, has really had hard questions about her human rights. 

Is a fist a weapon? Is a frying pan a weapon if its used the same way? 

                                                                                            Very Concerned

Dear Very Concerned,

I am assuming that your mention of your friend couch surfing means she doesn't have a solid home to live in... or, was the home she was living in not solid? Marriage does bring certain rights, you know... even now, in our strange relationships world.

Now, dealing with your second question about a fist being a weapon; I was informed that there are combat fighting arts, like jujitsu, that require self discipline and restraint in day to day living circumstances. A person trained in such an art would certainly not be flailing fists and saying they're a peace loving individual. 

Most people use frying pans for cooking. Movies portray a vastly different use of a frying pan in kitchen scenes. This is such a strange question, I hope my answers were sufficient to help you figure out defending motions.

Another tip- make sure your lawyer knows you have a storage unit ready for all your belongings. Contact immediately with a note- storage unit booked and then make an exhaustive list... even if you have to make it from memory... to make sure you can get a truck rolling... to get your house contents to where you are. As soon as you get the phone call that your things are ready to be transported, safely, to the correct 'rented storage,' then you can rest easy about theft and that kind of thing.

                                                                                             Hope this helps  

P.S. Is this a situation of... 'They who are not for me, are against me?'

Not Romantic

 Dear Elfrieda,

My friend is in a relationship that has turned very sour. The man she married, now 65, seemed like a good guy for almost two years and then things took a turn for the 'are you remembering correctly' next two years.

Lately, he had taken to sleeping outside because he said it was cooler. His temper was not cooler. On a weekend, after midnight- ish, on a Saturday, my friend awakened. He had decided to sleep in bed that night. Going to the bathroom, the wife heard him demand... "Did you close the windows?" She replied that she had not closed the windows. He had turned off the air conditioner and opened all the windows. He must not have heard so when she re- entered the bedroom, he was snapping like a turtle and then he leaped out of bed and confronted his wife, an inch from her face, and said, "I will punch you in the face." His wife pulled back and he landed his fist under her chin and across her chest."

Do you think their relationship is over?

                                                                                            Very Concerned

Dear Very Concerned,

The 'over 65 agers' can be a vibrant group of people but not everyone has perfect health and physical fitness and optimal thinking as this is the beginning of retirement for many and the transition from full- time thinking to handling all of lifes' ups and downs takes quite a lot of patience; with oneself, and with others.

At 65, we aren't backpacking and camping and trekking through the woods like we do in our 30's. We have a bit more sense in knowing our boundaries of output and our levels of exhaustion have certainly changed.

If there is a personality change that has turned from agreeable to hostile, it would be best if a physical exam, which most people get once a year, is adhered to. If there has been a huge dietary change, some people go from 'Canada food guide' to 'Keto crazy' and think there won't be any adverse effects. Fad diets are called fads for a reason. Fasting, overly much, brings about a drastic change as well. There can be this... 'I went without food for 20 hours so I need food now' thing. That is a very demanding schedule for anyone if their partner is a traditional 'man goes to work' and 'woman takes care of the home' relationship.

Brain energy, a fantastic book I read this year, gives great detail about the huge variances of thinking, reacting, and behaviour. 

                                                                                        Hope this helps

Winnipeg

 So, now I'm in Winnipeg, looking for a place to live.

I'm looking to the future, for a future.

All my belongings will need to be hauled to Winnipeg... I've got a whole houseful of furniture and stuff and quilts... and bookshelves, and my bicycle. I could list things here but that would take a lot of time.

This is a lot of work, for me... to get done by third party?