I was asked to...

 I was asked to serve on a 'Youth Justice Committee' around 1997. 

This committee was made up of volunteer people who had skills that were deemed valuable for mediation between victim and perpetrator.

A police officer was on the committee. A school teacher; and I was really encouraged to take part in this program.

The goal was a type of reconciliation between parties through unbiased mediation. 

I was greatly honoured, at that time, to be asked to serve on this committee but I declined due to personal job responsibilities that curtailed my time. The volunteer hours that would have been required of me were, simply, not possible with my three growing sons... at that time.

Whose Responsibility?

Each day I apply for jobs, in Winnipeg and I write my blog and I plan my future. 

Every situation in life has a 'who's responsible for this' factor to it. 

'As a writer, sometimes, the only value in an experience is the scene possibility... to write an extreme situation into a novel so that we can all learn to be better people.' Quote from my blog entitled 'Is it a crime?'

Today, I will sketch a few situations and then give my opinion on who is responsible in each situation... according to facts given. There is a problem, in each situation, with knowing what the facts are; trusting what the facts are; believing what the people say; Reasonableness of communication; Integrity of character; Possible work produced to support the individuals' portfolio of experience.

Todays' situation will only have to do with husbands and wives. Marriage is one of my favourite topics to write about. Warren and Elfrieda used to do 'fireside chats' (In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly.) and sit, facing one another, and discussing 'current issues,' at 225. 

Here's an example:

Warren felt he had a lot of experience from his first marriage. Elfrieda felt she had a lot of experience from her first marriage.

Husband and Wife live alone, together. This is a new marriage for both of them.

Current wife has no criminal record.

It is unsure if husband has a clean record.

To the best of their knowledge, in their marriage, neither has committed adultery against each other.

Husband has had escalating emotional episodes of spontaneous anger within the past two years. There is no particular, identifiable, reason because all of their respective children are 'out of the house' at last.

Wife has blogged about some of these incidents, instead of publishing in hard copy (almost all psychology self-help books are, about half, situational to individual cases in order for people to arrive at that ah hah moment of understanding; for the purpose of resolving personal relationship problems).

So, really simple example.

Wife is sleeping on a Saturday, late night... and awakens, before midnight, to take a senior citizens' pee. Groggily, she gets out of bed, goes to the bathroom, her elbow knocks a perfume bottle off her round, antique mirror on the left side of the vanity, next to the toilet. Wife has purchased three bottles of her favourite kind of perfume from local drug mart store and a few other bottles, in that month. 

The noise, of the perfume bottle hitting the floor evokes a challenge from the bedroom, as the husband says, "Did you close the windows?

"No, I didn't close the windows," wife says. 

Husband replies, "Because I just turned off your air conditioner and opened all the windows."

"I didn't close any windows," wife calmly responds to his agitative voice. She goes back into the bedroom. 

Husband jumps out of bed saying, "I am so tired of this," and leaps to confront his wife and with a unreal fierceness, says, "I'm going to punch you in the face."

Wife jumps back.

Husbands' fist glances off her chest and she starts screaming that he has hit her.

Husband smirks, tries to shush her and wife says he needs to get out of their bedroom.

He doesn't immediately leave the room. 

She gets a frying pan, to defend herself.

When his arm is raised again, the frying pan is used as a shield and husbands' fingernails cut his forehead.

Husband has the audacity to get a court order to lock up all of his wifes' belongings, her personal business inventory, her entire lifes' possessions, including clothing, her published novels, her 18 finished, hand- made, quilts, hand- made pillow cases, an entire house contents from her 48 years of collecting before she ever met this husband. 

Wife is forced to live in hotel and then try to find income to live in costly rental while this debacle is on the warming rack.

So, simple enough situation.

Question: Is this legal? 

I don't think so.

Question: Does the husband have dementia? Does he have OCD? Is he being dishonest about anything that he has been unwilling to divulge to the wife?

Question: Is their relationship able to salvaged?

Question: What is the best path forward for the working careers of each individual?

Wife has been bonded. Husband hasn't.

Can this be resolved in a 'fireside chat?'

Kiss of Promise

 I have all my personal information at 225 5th Avenue, N.E., in Dauphin. It is being guarded by my husband who has assured me that... should even one item of my personal belongings be missing when I can pick up all I own... he, himself will personally pay for anything that is missing or damaged.

That is what a husband should do.

This is my guitar... It's in a black cardboard case with denim- style stitching on it. Warren will guard that with his whole heart. He knows how much music means to me.

So, on the night table... some people say 'coffee table' (both of mine are still at 225)... so, on the bare floor (I am also waiting for that lovely blue rug I purchased at the furniture store in Dauphin) of the apartment I am renting; I am reading 'Why Marriages Succeed or Fail... by John Gottmann, PH.D.

This kiss of promise encapsulates...  I have all my personal information at 225 5th Avenue, N.E., in Dauphin. It is being guarded by my husband who has assured me that... should even one item of my personal belongings be missing when I can pick up all I own... he, himself will personally pay for anything that is missing or damaged.

This photo was taken in the back yard of 225... this is our wedding day... so, I wanted everything to be very legal when it came to 'where I moved my belongings'. That's why we got married right on the property where all of my life possessions were. I only feel comfortable with my investments around me.

I was told that if you get married on a property... your legal rights to it are very firm and should there be any renovations or upgrades done by the couple in the photo, the owners, that is a absolute sign of foundational principles of marriage being displayed in the 'bettering' of the house they have lived in together. 

McMunn's, in Dauphin, was in ecstasy every time I picked up building materials in a year when one employee said... 'I would never pay these prices for lumber.'

I can't even count how many trips to the lumber stores I made to buy all the materials for the upgrades. This was my work.

Warren was at Norwex... getting paid by that company.

I should mention that I, Elfrieda, have three sons. Warren has four sons. 

We kept our lives, very separate, in this respect... for respect, of course.

Christmas on my mind

Novel

My novel, The Orchard Walk El Dueck quote... "Flanked by mortared pillars, dry stacked stone walls... often stood for centuries. Tiny flower seeds that had been wind tossed into the cracks... sprouted and became green plants that happily flowered..."

This is a photo I took, I think it was in Bath.

The only trip I have ever made, across the pond, is always going to be the most important one, for me, as I had written about this little country in my novel and, as I walked the undulating streets I would look for depictions of my written work, snap a photo, so I could use these 'real life,' "I took these photos," representation as the next step in my live and breathe my work chapter of authenticity.

I know I've said this before but I will say it again... El's quote- "A book that has a life to it, is always relevant."

So, I am getting annoyed that my 14, 15 boxes of books aren't in the city yet... Warren needs to get them to me now. 

I am sure Warren won't allow one thing to be stolen, from me, because he knows the value of all my lifes' work, to me. This work, my 15 year project is the most interesting work I have ever worked on. I still have a load of photos, on my phone, with all my quilts, made for my project... photographed a month ago.

My external hard drive, in my armoire, are photos of years of my work... my photo history.

 

Every day start with...

I purchased a new stainless steel coffee press... a good cup of coffee every morning is still my favourite start to every day. 

Christmas

Christmas on my mind...

I am still going to use all my Fraiche Christmas decor, this year, that I purchased last year. I'm also awaiting my entire house contents... I admit I'm getting impatient with the tardiness of the packers.

Trust

As I mentioned, in a previous blog, the privilege of being 'bonded' is that you are being trusted with the emotional and physical needs of people who make appointments to have personal work done for them.

A person who fixes appliances must be bonded or they can't come into your home. I actually helped a young man start a small business, exactly like this, back in 2022. I'm not sure if he is still doing that work but I know I helped him start.

A person who works as a 'in- house nanny' must be bonded. Many professionals need this type of help.

I was bonded to sell gravestones, in home consultations.

I have also done in- home consultations for interior design.

So, always be sure to keep your reputation clean so your work can continue in a seamless road of trust and results.

Wedding Rings

Did you know I still have my wedding rings from my 33 year marriage. I have them at my 225 5th Avenue, N.E., Dauphin, Manitoba house.

You can't imagine how 'gold' gets de-valued over time. I remember that the price of gold, in the year my rings were purchased, was very high. Those prices were, then, reflected in jewelry stores.

So, I chose a set of rings, at that time, that were identical in style... the wedding ring is always smaller than the engagement ring. They were both a solitaire with a fsh, or ichthys, on either side of the diamond. Well, it was the ichthys without the tails. This Christian symbol was believed to be the secret symbol, used by early Christians, to prove their Christianity. So, I was very happy to wear these rings which were purchased on April 4, 1981 at Ben Moss, 1501 Polo Park (this is the handwritten address on the receipt). I still have the clarity chart and purchase paper in a safe place. 

Isn't it interesting that I wore these rings for 33 years, the number of years Jesus walked the earth? The only reason that relationship fell apart was that I was still walking in the same direction as Christians have, for centuries, but my, then husband wanted to go with the drinking/ smoking crowd. So, our paths were diverging.

So, I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with these rings. The original price was just $1145.00 before taxes... oh, but, they were on sale. I used the mathematical calculation for what those would be worth today and AI said... $4219.50 in 2026. 

I wonder who would pay me that amount for those rings. I doubt that anyone will but... you never know. Somebody should go see if they're at the pawn shop in Dauphin. That's right across from No Frills. I'm not saying my current husband pawned my stuff... I'm just saying they have that kind of stock, there.

So, people often wonder what their 'lifetime' possessions are worth... and, they may be worth a bit more than suggested by those trying to steal your stuff.

So, I'm sure my current husband is guarding and packing all my stuff for the safe trip to Winnipeg. All my jewelry I purchased, in Dauphin, came from the same store... a Christian family I met at a fundraiser at the church we attended for 9 months or so. The one ring I bought there said it was a topaz but it looks more like a cloudy aquamarine colour and one of the mini stones on the side has already fallen out... all my jewelry is still at 225 5th Avenue, N.E. in Dauphin, Manitoba. I actually purchased this ring from my inheritance money that my folks left me because my brother said I should buy myself a little something, from that, to remember my Mom and Dad. 

Oddly enough, those second marriages aren't nearly the same as first marriages.

In my current marriage, we purchased our own rings and we each paid for our own honeymoon, in England. 

I am trying to follow the advice Warren gave me... don't delete any of your photos... those are your history, dear.

Dearest Warren, 

If you have any travel, hiking plans... please leave a key to the house in care of the church we attended so they can help me get my stuff... Thank you.

Privacy Laws

If I am right about privacy laws... nobody can look at my personal information, or any of my personal possessions without my express permission.

I have never granted anyone permission to touch or go through any of my possessions so I am sure all of my 'lifetime' of paperwork and house contents will not be rifled through at 225 5th Ave. N.E., in Dauphin. 

Key Responsibility

Situation

Husband and wife live alone in a small house.

 A wrongful arrest of a wife, whose husband had threatened to hit her in the face, and then followed through with his fist as she jumped back from his incoming attack..., the fist glanced off her chest due to her quick response... has caused great problems for all involved.

After the wife defended herself, the husband faked a 911 call, saying he was being pursued by his wife. The truth is that he was making a very 'in control' and cognitive 911 call in the basement of their home, lying about the situation to get his wife in the most trouble she has ever had in her life. The husband was in the basement all by himself.

When he came upstairs, the wife offered to assist him but he said... "Oh, no, they are going to see this!"

She did not know who 'they' were so, in order to avert being attacked by him, or whomever he had invited there, again, she got her vehicle keys and wallet identification, for her personal safety. She went outside to go for a drive to let him cool off from his raging anger.

Two days past and the wife and a local pastor requested a chair from the woman's home. The pastor said the husband was insisting on her house key being given back to him... the wifes' house key. The wife did not want to do this because all of her entire lifes' paperwork and possessions are in that house. Knowing the she would be living in the city, a very safe distance from the attack on her, she gave a house and gate key to the pastor... who then gave them to her husband. There are many keys, for that compromised house, in the hands of his family members.

The only things that the husband, then, gave the pastor, to give to his wife, were a few items of clothing, no shoes, scant toiletries, and one chair.

The wife has no income and could only find two friends to couch surf with for three days. The other days were in hotels... the pastors' church paid for the first night in a hotel, seeing the terrible condition that the wife was in.

In order for a apartment rental to be attained, monies that were to be saved, from the wifes' miniscule inheritance, (both her parents passed away 5 1/2 and 4 1/2 years ago), had to wasted on this debacle. These scant funds are not enough for any living expenses and the wife is unsure if she has to sue for the refund of all these expenses or what the financial path to regaining these monies is. 

                                                            .    .    .

I am not a lawyer and I do not really know much about the law at all. I really only know how to follow the law.

Obviously, the people who have keys to this house are responsible for any and all persons they allow to infiltrate the premises. All theft will be the responsibility of the husband because he insisted on the house key, that legally belonged to the wife, being returned, before he allowed any of her possessions to be chosen, by him, to leave the premises. Holding a persons' possessions hostage is a crime of another nature.

The only time I have ever been finger printed, in my law- abiding lifestyle, was when I was asked to do that for a job where I was required to be bondable. The job was a 'home appointments' position, that the client would make to have a representative come into their home to order a gravestone for their deceased loved one. Because of the emotional nature of this transaction, some people prefer to do this memorial work in the privacy of their homes.

So, I still recall how busy the station was and filling out the paperwork for the reason I was paying for finger printing. Nobody pays for these things unless they are wanting a very good job. My name was misspelled and I brought this to the attention of the person I paid. She waved me off, saying... if it's just for a job, you have no criminal record whatsoever. Just show them that you paid. The line- up is long to re-do this.

So, Dudeck would be a little bit funny because, if you know German 'du' means you and a deck, is a deck, which I certainly did build at 225.

This is the deck I built, at 225... treated lumber 2x8's. These are my flowers... I just love flowers.

So, I drove to the employer and they laughed at the mistake but didn't require me to re- do this so the spelling of my name would be correct.

I successfully had a few in- home consultations and felt very accomplished at this extremely sensitive work position.  

Did you know that reputable companies, moving companies, for sure, will advertise that their employees are bonded? The reason they do this is to make sure that they are not blamed for any theft before they pick up a persons' belongings and move them.