Define Danger

 Dear Elfrieda,

I have a friend who has come to my place for sleepovers since she was 3 years old. She is now over 40. I am concerned about the lives she has ruined because of her tantrums and out- of- control behaviour. She has a son and a husband but she thinks nothing of abandoning them to come and be taken care of, by me. Recently, she confessed that she took out a protection order to keep her sons' mother away from their home. The sons' mom would bring things to their home to try to keep in touch with him and his son. She has a strange because I married him, I own him mentality. She has controlled every aspect of his life except being a real wife... the kind that cooks, cleans, and protects the home front. She confessed that both her husband and son have been raped. I can't even sleep thinking about the danger they are in. Her husband was working for a very bad company and the men who are employed with that disaster have stolen from him and beaten him. I am not sure why she doesn't take out a protection order against these people. I am so worried about her son. He just isn't living a normal life. The husband gets pushed around every time he tries to make a sandwich. The situation is untenable. I am a very patient person but even I am becoming rather cross with the whole situation. How do I tell her to grow up? How can I help her get the abusive people out of their home and get her back on track with Christian values?

                                                                                                                        Cross Rhonda

Dear Cross Rhonda,

You sound like a very reliable and concerned person. Most people don't use the old- fashioned term being cross with someone. I like that. Most people say... I am so mad, I can't stand her... he pisses me off... very low- classed vernacular. 

You must encourage her to make sure the bedrooms are safe... no visitors are ever to be allowed, in the house, that would enter a bedroom. People like that are never safe. Have you a copy of the very helpful book 'Boundaries?' I read that book over 20 years ago and it is still so valid. This is probably where that household needs to be re- ordered to safety.

A home is where a family lives in peace and safety and the people in your home should be the ones you can count on no matter what. Even verbal fighters are a threat. Most verbal insulters are instigators. They say things like... you're so ugly, you're fat, they laugh with derision, they're usually lacking in IQ so their fighting style reminds you of a playground of bullies instead of intellectual grown- ups. 

You should tell your friend that taking out restraining or protection orders against people who are the safe ones and when these people are trying to help them, this is going to backfire on her when she really needs help. If she teaches her son to lie, like she is lying, her son is going to be in that terrible situation 'like the boy who cried wolf.' If she is trying to ruin the reputation of decent people she may be taken to court for her slanderous suggestive accusations.

Why doesn't she fight the people who are actually bad in her life? Ask her directly if she took out a restraining order or a protection order? Is it possible someone else did this? Is it possible there are people trying to lock them away and keep their abuse private? Is someone taking out restraining orders and protection orders and putting their names on them to make sure nobody goes to their homes to rescue them? Do ask these questions immediately so this can be resolved.

                                                            Think clearly, ask directly, and act wisely

Phone Problems

 Neil, (he's the oldest male in the Guenter family so he is most responsible for any and all injurious issues) is my son Scott's arm broken? Can you find out if anyone has been abusive in his life? You should be able to find out. You like being the oldest responsible person, don't you?

Thank you. 

Little sister Elfrieda

They say my phone just doesn't work way out here. 

Group?

 I volunteer to pick up my sons and their children anytime so they can have a safe place to live. I can't even count how many messages I have sent to each of them to say... 

"Come here and be safe." 

"You can have all and any food you want here."

"Our home is very humble but you would be safe here."

I haven't seen Ray (I think he may have put a block on his phone. I may have tried to contact his wife Eva after that but I don't think she had seen much of my children just as I never see hers either.) and Dave since October 2024 and I drove into Winnipeg for that little meeting. Their wives, my sisters, were having a bid of a snit. Well, only one was having a fit that day.

Family... you can never know precisely what their behaviour will be like... is it old age? 

Ray had a confession to make but we ran out of time so he could call so we can get that sorted out. If you knew how many confessions I have heard in life. 

Some confessions are good... like... Well, you, Elfrieda, had a lot of money and I put it away for you so the family you married into wouldn't steal it. Some confessions are bad... like... Well, Elfrieda, you could have a house and money but we steal it every day because we withhold information from you. Some confessions make me mad... like... your sons have had their phones taken from them so many times so us oldies can find out who sends them messages and what is being said.

Then there's all the outlaw behaviour of in- laws. Two of those families have found a way to steal so much money, I don't think I'm going to be in a group with those people.

T & C stole a house but nobody wants to talk about that... Pastors!

Somebody said Scott needs glasses and his hearing has become diminished due to trauma. I've heard of cutting someone out of a group but this physical cutting is never going to be hidden. We will uncover each cut and find the culprit.

Jordan is thinking of living with a very safe family and he is very welcome to live here... he has a Christian attitude toward humble surroundings. I've heard he's had a lot of cutting. That better be a rumour. If not, you know we have laws against cutting. My grandson can come here, too, if he has been cut. My grandson has been coached to lie by the group he was put in but I have encouraged him to always tell the truth. There is a rumour that 'Sara the mental institution cutter' has been put in a group with Liam. This is most perturbing but, let's not confuse that Sara with my sister Sara.

The only thing we've experienced, here, that was really confusing and very bad... were the police doing weird stuff with paperwork I have never seen in my whole life. I still haven't read it and I certainly don't  know who would have sent such b.s. 

So, I don't know what people are doing in 'groups' but I haven't been in a group for 30 or more years. Well, I was in a 'group' at Riverwood where we were to discuss 'things that drive you crazy.' I was a little astounded at one young woman who had so much parent hatred, I thought, I can't be in a group with someone like you. Her poor little kids were caught in her maelstrom of hatred and I thought... this mess belongs to t.

So, I'm still here, way too far away from Winnipeg to be of any help to my sons unless they call! 

God's blessings on our messes!

Protection

     Since February 5, 2025, I have had an uphill battle trying to protect my grandson and, if necessary, his father, my son. I put in a victim report for my sons' address so the Winnipeg police would go see if he was safe. 

If I suspected victimization in any of my sons' homes, I would not hesitate in doing this again.

I had never done that before, in life, but one never knows what kind of situation people get into after they get married.

There was a rumour circulating, a few years ago, in the family, that a grandma was taking a daughter- in- law to court for visiting rights of her grandchildren. At the time, I thought, that is so extreme. What kind of lunacy has created this situation? Well, the lunacy was what the mother had done to create the situation. Apparently, she had moved out of the house she and her husband were living in and, somehow, hidden her children from the grandmother. I hope I never have to resort to this type of legal action.

So, I'm still waiting for paperwork from an attack upon my personhood that caused me such a terrible life situation, I exercised my legal rights to 'disagree' with someone, after enduring a horrific assault on my legal rights in home invasion by local police and ensuing forced blood tests and then a string of people calling themselves professionals asking me personal questions. At the time, I thought, whatever you do, don't move to this small town. I don't think they know anything about human rights. 

My human rights, in the situation earlier this year, were so violated I am astounded that any person would advocate for this type of brutality. I was forced to stay in a rather uncomfortable place. I am a law abiding citizen so I complied to this violation of my human rights. 

The first thing I did was ask if there was a library. I was, almost immediately, granted my request. I took out one novel. I skimmed it, didn't like the brutal descriptions of crime, by the writer very famous writer and returned it to the library the next day. I then scanned the bookshelves and saw a title that seemed fitting for my situation... 'Unfit to Practice' and 'Revenge of a Middle- aged Woman.' I spent the next few days reading those books.

I spent three days, forcibly confined, without clean clothes, my own shampoo, my own toothpaste and toothbrush, all the normal life accoutrements, from my home, when I am undisturbed in my peaceable life. I showered with the horrible products they gave me and put my dirty clothes on each day until my husband took time off of work to bring me my clean underwear and clothing, etcetera. Then, I endured the most astounding threat I have ever received. After, once again, forcibly, taking my blood, it was suggested that I try some medication. Now, of course, these people did not know that I do not do well with almost any drug. (I received the wrong medication during surgery, one time, and I puked for five hours after. It was just a day surgery.) So, in order to satisfy the 'people in charge' I agreed to try two pills only of a different variety each. The next morning I could hardly get out of bed, I was so dizzy I almost fell on the way to the bathroom. After speaking with the man in charge I said I was not taking medication for a condition I don't have to experience a bad drug reaction. He, intelligently, gave me the right to say 'no' to drugs. Unfortunately, he didn't inform the other staff and, when I was alone in my room, with no witnesses to protect me, a very large Neanderthal- sized woman came to give me this bad medication. When I informed her that I wouldn't be taking it because it was terrible for me, she replied, 'We can inject you, you know.' I believe her name may have been Jen. I told her I would take legal action against her and the organization should that ever happen to me.

So, one thing I would like to inform people who lie and subvert the truth and try to set up a God- fearing, law abiding citizen, myself most certainly, is this; what you sow, you will reap.

Now, I know there are rash, out- of- control behaviour people who have used words like... she's emo, an overly sensitive emotional person. I really do not like that lingo. It suggests all kinds of subculture influences that I would not accept as a reasonable defense against staying in control of oneself. A number of weeks ago, my grandsons' mother had one of those 'emotional moments' when I dropped in to return a little bit of money my son had sent me the year before. I had just put it into a little gift box and was waiting for the right time to bring it to him. I had such a hard time trying to give them gifts last year. Each box was returned to me, to this post office, unopened, and I had to pay twice for each gift box I sent my sons. So I stopped sending my love expressions... sweat shirts, sheets, pillows, blankets, heated blankets, sweat pants. In one package, I sent a frozen package of hamburger and a frozen pound of bacon. I sent the package on a Monday and it was back here by Friday. The hamburger and bacon were still cool so that is what my husband and I ate for dinner that night. 

Now, I am so afraid that my sons and their families are safe. I have sent a lot of messages to them saying they can come here, to my house, anytime. They will be safe here. 

What I like to remind my daugthers- in- law is this. My sons were in perfect condition when they left 90 Forest Cove to marry you. I require them to be in the same, safe and perfect condition even if they live with you, as well as my grandchildren. You must also keep them safe. If you are incapable, we will step in and help you. Phone anytime and I will be there to help you with your situation. Just remember, I live 3 1/2 to 4 hours' drive away.

Revealing Estate Paperwork

Journals- What are journals for? On a personal level, a journal is like a diary. Every day you write what you have experienced so that you can 'see clearly' what is important to you and if you follow the dictum, 'Examine yourselves,' a diary is the very best way to do that.

A sister once said to me... I need to make changes in my life but I just don't know how to do that. 

I responded, well, I keep a day- to- day journal. Why don't you do that? 

I can't do that, replied my sister, I am way too negative and I wouldn't even want to read what I wrote with the negative attitude I have.

Once again, I responded with... that's how you change, though. Read your own journal and ask yourself; Do I want to keep being like that or would I rather make a change to help people and be the 'positive change I want to see in others?'

                                                                .    .    .

Have you ever been tasked with 'cleaning up an estate?'

After the death of a loved one, people often look for clues as to the meaning of that persons' life. If you are lucky, maybe the person kept journals. Journals are such great evidence of what a person has thought about, what a person thought was important, what a person put their hand to, in life.

Well, I know that I would want my journals to reflect my values. 

In the last six years I cleaned up paperwork from two (well, it was actually three 'sudden death' individuals) because there was a link between two individuals that had a business relationship. I will speak about them, separately, because the two situations had nothing to do with each other. It was just my bad luck that I was stuck with 'clean up' from families that should have done the work of this and took the money from the estate.

So, the business papers 'estate' was an eye- opener for me. The man who died had kept paperwork from his jobs and that proved he had been in a business relationship with a woman and, together, they were 'caught cheating.' They were caught cheating a business they worked for. The woman had died long before the man and I never met or knew her in any way but the paperwork detailed that she was, obviously, not an honest person. I met the man after he became reformed from his 'earlier- in- life' debacle. The man had been 'into' buying up cheap real estate. I found an email that transpired between him and the ethically confused partner he had cheated with. The email laid out such a convoluted diametrically opposed value system that I could hardly imagine that people could so lie to themselves as to imagine that they were providing 'good living housing' for the general public. The one statement I had a real problem with started with, "I believe... everyone should have decent housing..." I am grateful that I never met that woman because the 'rental' properties that they purchased were from people who had lost their houses to the bank. As I read the 'confused thinking' values of these people, I thought, you must be forgetting about the people who lost these houses you are buying. Your are worse than duplicitous. You think if you rob from Peter to pay Paul, you are a good person. That's ludicrous. So, fast forward, a few years to test their theory of helping others. The man was still alive, in this partnership, but the woman had died over ten years previously. What situation did the man find himself in? Well, he had a renter that had not paid her rent for a whole year. I kept reading the paperwork. Hmm, he was considering taking the renter to court and I thought, Well, that doesn't seem very much like he wants to help those people live in a decent house. Now the real estate buyer seems to be in the same situation as the 'first' family who lost their house and he certainly didn't think about or consider them when he made his buy and he and his partner pretended they were some kind of rescue heroes. So, that was all the 'unveiled' estate values corruption, or should I say corrupted values that I sorted through for one, reformed individual. 

Next situation

A woman with no estate had died years previously and left paperwork to test the values system of this individual. A total stranger, it was hard to tell if this person had any values system beyond a reactionary victim status that she seemed to be building a case for that she took to court in a newspaper reporting feature. From the paperwork, I surmised that the venom within this individual had ruined any chances for leading a productive life. All of her actions seemed to be focused on 'getting back at the man who had victimized her.' There were transcripts of doctors' appointments. I truly had never seen a transcript of any doctors' appointment in my entire life and I wondered why anyone would collect such personal information. I can't even venture a guess as to why a person would collect such information. If these transcripts had been from a victimization, it would have made some sense but they weren't. Then I wondered why she went to so many doctors. So, transcript after transcript were discarded as her husband had no desire to keep any of this paperwork. Finally, I got down to her journals and that is where her true personality problems became clear. She despised everyone, in her life, who challenged her. After skimming over some of these writings, I threw all but one journal in the garbage. I really didn't think her children would want to know how much she hated people.

                                                        .    .    .

So, what have I learned about 'what we all leave behind' when life is over? Well, my Dad left behind a suitcase of paperwork as well and the day he died is the first time the four Guenter daughters got to see any of it. Woah, were we surprised at some business information but you know what I was even more surprised at... the one daughter who said, 'We shouldn't even be looking at this." Then I thought, 

Well, if not us, then who?    

Coming tomorrow... 

Order Protection... It's scary in a small town when people walk through my gate, when they don't have permission to do so. Trespassing, I believe it's called.

Bad Company

 Bad company corrupts good character

    Safety advice... don't invite bad company if you want your home to be safe. This really is the most sane and responsible advice I can give all of you, to stay out of bad situations of manipulation. Many bad people will try to ask you for money when they have money. They may ask you for a place to stay when they have a place to stay.

    My favourite sayings are... prove to me that this is necessary. Prove to me that you are safe. Prove to me that you are responsible. Prove to me that you're making the right decisions with what you have and how you manage your resources.

    Best advice I can give you is to ask  the questions that will reveal what the situation is that needs to be resolved.

Attacked?

 Dear Elfrieda,

I know of a situation where a man was locked into his room, in his own house. 

He had made a big mistake allowing men, he worked with, (and many strange people visited whom he didn't know; some said relatives he had never met pushed their way into his house as well) to stay in his house because they wanted to take advantage of a young family. These men were very dangerous and there were also women who who took advantage of this situation and stole everything this young man had. For a year and a half, this man was not allowed to live a normal life. He has not been seen in public. I believe he has been raped (not romantic), and violently attacked. I have contacted his aunt and a pastor and brothers to check on him. 

He has been given very bad advice. His relatives told him he had to go live in his house so he wouldn't lose his house to these bandits. He has had his vehicle stolen. He has not had regular phone service. I believe his life is in peril. I don't know how to help him stay alive.

                                       Terrified a man will not survive because nobody did the right thing

Dear Terrified,

I hope this man knows he has the right to defend himself. He has the right to be safe in his own house. He has the right to ask violent offenders to leave his house. By law, they have to leave his house if he has asked them to,

Any person who is told to go to a place they have been assaulted should never listen to that bad advice. They are mentally insane and the person who has been harmed needs a reliable advocate.

If a child has been attacked in this house, as well as the adult man... a prison term is the only recourse for the offenders.

                                                                                     Better do the right thing