Sunday, October 28, 2018

Searching

It takes a lot to rebuild a life when one part of life is mostly done... raising children...
another part is supposed to start...
It is very difficult to find a relationship to trust and just when you think you've found it... that very person lets you know... you have not. It can feel very defeating.
I believe a deep relationship can only develop with much time spent together. If you find that deep relationship, cherish it, and take care of it so you can keep it.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Important

What is important? Well, the older I get the more I know what is important to me... and, ironically, those things have never changed for me.
Every day I get emails that are marked 'important.' Some days they feel important, some days they don't feel important at all. On a day that my eyesight really can't read them on my phone... those emails fade into 'not important' faster than you can imagine. Obviously, emails have the neutral capacity and neutral presence to be important or not on any given day.
One time I tried to argue that 'everything is important,' actually. This one man responded to me, "Well, if everything is important, then nothing is important."
That answer just kind of made me crazy because I saw too many holes in that.
I know people need to prioritize significance and a feeling of contribution has to be, somehow, conferred to people in all walks of life at every level of positive contribution... unless you wish to do everything by yourself... and I do not find that to be at all fun or happy- life- making.
I had another interesting thing said to me this summer by an older gentleman. I was discussing my relationships with him. He was old enough and experienced, like a father figure, to be able to give me some opinions. After listening to me a little while he suddenly says, "Surely you're not that old fashioned that you need to married... in this day and age."
"Yes," I said, "that is important to me."

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Demystifying

 Safe Harbor
Demystifying Biblical truths and trying to encourage the application of them in day to day living is what the novel I wrote is attempting to do. This year I came across a website that has some very helpful questions and information that I will try to write about as I, too, learn more about my place in the story of life and what it is that I contribute to the picture.
I wish I had this kind of teaching from my childhood because there always seemed like there was a gap or chasm that the old Bible stories couldn't seem to bridge to make the world I grew up parallel the history we learned.
Maybe you will find this helpful for yourself as well.
"Do you love boats, navigation, and the seas? That blessing was given to Zebulun and that may be your tribe. Genesis 49:13"
The big picture that my novel encompassed was not so easy to explain to people so this blog gives me ample daily opportunity to try to make connections. Some connections are purely happenstance as I take photos wherever I happen to be and then use them in my story if my mind recalls a good depiction for that day.
The duvet cover, top photo, is currently available for purchase in EL's Orchard Walk.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Safely and Knowledgeably

What a terrible day for my eyesight... most of this fine day. This is disheartening. Every now and then it would clear up and I would quickly skip out and run an errand. Have you ever just wanted one good man to put things aright and get things stable so you could do anything at all... something productive instead of just worrying about that? I surely have. Most of my time is spent paying close attention to what is happening around me... especially when I'm driving. I have to say... today some people got to go home and enjoy another day... that almost didn't. I saw a close call on the highway... wow... if that truck driver hadn't seen that car driving in his blind spot... just in time... that would have been something I would not have wanted to witness. As far as I could tell all the credit goes to the truck driver for swerving back just in time... with a double trailer that he was hauling... that was a bit of a miracle... not so easy to make sudden corrections with that kind of load, successfully. Even though I no longer have my Class 2 license,... I gave it up when the city made a mistake and sent me my license as if I only had a Class 5. I let it go seeing as I didn't think I would ever try to get a job driving larger vehicles again. The one thing that has been indispensable, though, from the training and learning that I took to get that license was knowing what a driver of larger vehicles can and cannot see when they are driving. Most people, on the road, don't have any idea that they are completely invisible to the transport truck driver when they are innocently yet ignorantly, meaning unknowingly, driving along right beside a large truck. Invisible. That is what a small vehicle is that is driving right next to a large truck when it is in the passing lane. People do not seem to know what a passing lane is for anymore either. If you don't intend to pass that large semi... why are you in that lane? This was my biggest observation of the day... and a real beef it is to me as well. Driving in someones' blind spot is a bad idea. Be aware and drive safely and knowledgeably.
So, keeping in time with this mornings' lonely, cold walk... the geese are all preparing for winter... many formations... all leaving for warmer climates...

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Wonderment

Every time I see a driveway like this... I will often stop and take a photo. I have this belief that there is just the right... job, partner, love,... whatever I am looking for... just around the corner. Just waiting... slightly in the hidden and yet accessible. I would probably be one of those people who is a bit more hopeful in the possibility of excitement, even a little, for the things I am looking for. Boredom sneaks up on me and nips at my heels like an annoying overly- yappy dog... my least favourite kind. Winter winds are howling today with the ominous promise of long, dark days and I feel intimidated already. The skies are grey-ish most days now so I know it is only a matter of time before the snow arrives. Currently, I'm reading a novel series that seems a bit more like world news than a novel with some surreal twists but not so surreal to the believing. Then I'm reading this small book called 'As a Man Thinketh' which is very informative for its size. Sometimes a well- crafted sentence can seem like a paragraph when one thinks on it. And a small paragraph that is well appointed to self judgement through the medium of understanding is worthy of thought for quite some time. I've heard some people say that the Bible is the only book that you don't judge... it judges you. But, I would say that an author that can write in a manner similar to this... as in this one paragraph I read last night... is a good, creative source of wordsmith challenge that bears the bend of perspective. If a person allows words to change them or is open to this manner of transformation... other books can do some of this work too... although I do appoint the Bible as being the most reliable source for consistent transformation.
Just as a bend in the road peaks my curiosity so it is with my endeavour to find my purpose each day. Some people have an overriding understanding of what their purpose is but I do not feel I have that right now.
So, I feel much like a bend in the road... wondering what's around the corner.

Monday, October 8, 2018

The Prairies

Yesterday was a very creepy day. Nothing was working again with my computer and the day was totally silent on my phone. The endless noise next door was the rude reminder that silence is no indicator of peace. I took this photo out in the country on Friday night. There was very little wind that night. You don't get that often on the prairies. Many photos I take of the wilderness kind of terrain have that lonesome kind of feeling... wide open and lonesome.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Friday, October 5, 2018

Looking for Good Things

So, my computer sign in box is missing most of the time again and that is a glitch I have no idea how to fix. That happened a week or so ago as well. Total pain and seems like such a waste of time. Like my eyesight... sometimes it is good. Right now, not so good.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Perspective of Openness



Just woke up from a nap that felt so nearly impossible to wake up from. I've been getting over a cold and I felt like I had taken cold medication but I didn't... I guess I was enjoying the mild, outdoorsy smell of these roses I just splurged on today. Any outdoor scent that smells like the wind blowing through cotton on a wash-line is cathartic for me. I also like the hint of the smell of soil that the roses were grown in. Hard to get that country smell in the city but I try.
Enchanting
I love that word... only one time has a man used that word in a conversation with me... it takes a little self confidence, perhaps, to compliment a woman in this way. So, I chose two different colours today... one a little mystical and enchanting and another, totally opposite... big and sturdy. I buy flowers when I'm lonely... sometimes... not too often... flowers are pricey.
So, I've been hoping to find a Friday night Bible Study to get some social connections. This is hard to find. I've been jotting a lot of quotes down in my journal lately. Informative quotes from men who've been around the block a bit... they've got a few miles on them these fellas. I learned that some people make their living as communicators. When looking for work, it is often hard to define what I would like to do... I remember one man laughing, in a good way, when I told him what I was going to attempt and his words were, 
"Just tries anything!" 
He was amused at my moxie and I was surprised he saw me this way... a perspective of openness must have some benefits eventually... yes?

I was sent this a few years ago and thought it was worth sharing if you, like I, are trying to figure out what it is you contribute to the world on any given day.