Is that the Alphabet Game

 Has anyone heard of the 'alphabet game?' I have not been involved with the game where the host says, "Pick!"

The reason I haven't been invited... not even once... is because I have so many questions about this 'game' and nobody wants to answer them.

So, I have questions like...

When people are invited to a 'pick-a-thing' event, who brings the 'things?' 

For instance, if I were ever invited to a event like this... would I be asked to bring a 'thing' for the game?

Would the 'thing' have a price limit? Like... at Christmas get- togethers people always decide, in advance, what the price limit will be for a 'gift exchange,' right? Almost everybody I know has been pressed upon to join in on these 'gift exchanges' at one time or another.

One time, at a 'family get- together' the price limit was $5. So, I am such a incorrigibly practical person, I don't like giving anybody junk and I have to admit, most of the time a $5 item can be kind of junky... unless, you make the item something practical... like a toothbrush. The one time that I recall, very specifically, I found a $5 soccer ball in a discount bin and I was so excited to 'give' my $5 item because I thought... mine will be the best!

So, what happened when my soccer ball was 'picked?' 

Nobody believed me that I really did find that bargain for $5. I didn't think I would have to bring the receipt but I certainly could have.

What I have found from these types of 'games' is that there are only two ways to play...                                                              'eyes wide open' or 'blind.' 

The $5 gift exchange was a 'blind' game so everyone had to bring their item wrapped so you didn't know what you were picking. I can't even remember what I ended up with.

Now, let's say somebody has a bit of a diabolical personality, man or woman, and that person decides to bring everything themselves for one of these 'entertainments.' That person would be the only one who could know what is in each 'envelope.' Hmm, like that popular game on television years ago... the price is right. For the family that I was in, $5 was the price that was right.

Let's pretend for a minute that the items were 'revealed' and everyone could choose but a fair way of choosing had to be determined. Well, here, the youngest put numbers into a hat and we all had to choose a number. So, myself and the old guy I'm with were offered the number basket first and old guy got 1 and I got 2. So, youngest looked at me and said forcefully... 'You're number 2.' Now, I had to play along but you can't imagine what I was thinking! At the time, I was thinking... 'Your name has some bad historical connotations so don't sass me, young man!' So, I behaved perfectly and no war broke out at this 'family' event of old guy... not my family, old guy's family.

There was another event that I only heard about and I would certainly like to have the facts verified as to the outcome of this and other events that I was not, fortunately, invited to.

I heard... that, you know how news mags always try to get you hooked with 'gossipy' language... well, I heard that a young man reached for an item that an old guy thought he was more entitled to and just as young guy put his hand on the item, old guy jumped up and belted young guy in the jaw... I heard young guy needed surgery but no one wants to talk about it.

Then, I heard, company man beat the hell out of fellow employee every time he thought they might not get the 'bonus.' If this is true, I would arrest the violent offenders and they would be going to 'how to behave' school because we're tired of their 'school of hard knocks.'

What I am trying to, elegantly, say... is this... when 'playing' these kinds of 'games,' people should not be getting hurt, they should have a reasonable limit, people should be allowed to 'opt in' or 'opt out' and the alphabet is a fine literacy example of what can be accomplished with twenty six letters. If a learning curve is necessary for forms of punishment... try writing an essay... I know these letters, below, look like I'm swearing but I'm not, it's just Edwardian script in capitals.

                      ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

P.S. Please be kind and safe.