Safe Boundaries

 

Boundaries is a huge topic that has been discussed and firmly exhibited from Old Testament stories to modern- day rivalries, as well as each personal relationship in ones' life.

A simple example of a boundary is a fence. 

Why do people put up fences?

People put up fences to keep what is inside a fence safe from intruders. So, when determining where to build a 'gazebo,' shed, anything you or I plan to use for our work or enjoyment, we choose to build it within the safety of a fence. A gazebo is a private structure that is usually built for relaxation and, quite often, rest. A shed/ garage is built for storing work- a- day items that are needed to effectively manage your life. 

I know what I am writing seems so obvious that a person would wonder what I am leading up to with such information. 

Well, my topic is 'boundaries' in relationships. So, my husband and I built this gazebo... all by ourselves... just the two of us. It is a one- of- a- kind gazebo that you can't buy anywhere because we needed a screened structure to enjoy outdoor living... there are a lot of pesky bugs where we live, in summer. This was a lot of work and, being do- it- yourselfers, it took every weekend from April to September, 2023 for us to complete.

Now, just for the record, I would be very upset if someone came into my yard and used it without my permission. The yard is fenced, locked and protected. This is the way it feels safe to us.

Boundaries, in property, are a good indication of boundaries in relationships. You might get a 'growl' if you enter a fenced yard, human or animal. I obey the rights of the owner... as I want the same respect.

Let's carry this topic into the arena of business relationships. Personally, I have never had a business partnership as that was highly recommended to me by many business owners. The problem with partnerships, these people would say, business especially; 

is the necessity, oftentimes, of a healthy break- up. The reason I say 'healthy' is because nobody wants things to become angry, messy, tense, or antagonistic. 

Now, many people wish healthy business relationships because we all need to earn money to live on. 

The most important thing each of us should attend to is a safe boundary between 'work' and 'home life.'

Work is what we do to create a good home life. That is the purpose of work. If anyone crosses the boundary of your home, without express permission, a tense environment may be the unhealthy result. An immediate boundary conversation can rectify the situation and keep relationships happy and healthy.

Other than my sole proprietorship type of business, I would not use my home for outside 'employee type' of work. I believe it is not healthy to invite strangers into your home... employers or employees. That boundary should always be maintained for the safety of each family unit.

So, when 'new' people try to muscle into your life, be firm, yet pleasant, in stating your 'safe boundaries' for the ease of relating. This is usually not a problem with mature people but, occasionally, it can crop up with people who don't know you or I... well.

Be pleasant, be polite, yet firm... let your yes, be yes and your no, be no.