Holier- than- thou

 Holier- than- thou... 

The only one I can think of that is holier than thou is God. Literally, I truly believe that only God is holier than thou. 

You can't imagine how hard it is to find a photo to depict something 'holier- than- thou' because if God is the only one who is holier than thou, what would God choose as a photo? It is often said that God is spirit. He is hard to photograph. So, I can't show you a picture of God because I have never seen a picture of God... now, it is said that 'God is love' so I found a picture that says 'love.' 

I bought that cake stand many years ago, at a store many of us buy memberships to. Can you imagine buying a membership for the privilege of buying 'stuff?' Why is buying 'stuff' a privilege? Well, to buy 'stuff,' I need money. So, this marketing ploy, it could be deduced, is created to attract financially secure members.

You can't believe how many people are annoyed at someone who can't pay for anything. They roll their eyeballs, smirk with just the right amount of superiority if they, yet, deign to offer to pay for that poor person. That type of 'offering to pay' is often very sanctimonious and probably doesn't make any poor person feel very loved.

I'm trying to get back on track here as I'm imaging how hard it is to 'make someone feel loved.' So, one of my methods of 'love gifting' used to be 'food,' cake, cookies, something 'extra.' 

We all know that a sound, healthy diet, rich in nutrients that keeps aging bodies from decaying too quickly... is needful.

Is cake needful? Well, maybe... if it makes you feel loved. One of my sons felt loved when he got angel food cake. Another son, of mine, felt loved when he got white cake with white icing. My third son felt loved when he got cinnamon buns.

I would like to say that this is one tiny little way that I was able to 'be God' for just a moment. Now, it's hard to 'be God' for even a moment... so, let's try to imagine what it would be like if we had to 'be God' every day.

Impossible, I say. Nobody can 'be God' every moment of every day except for 'God.'

But... what if we tried to be just a little bit 'like God?' 

Would we share the cake? Does God share his cake? I think He does. I can be a little practical when I think about what God shares because I'm a creationist and believe that we really don't have anything at all if we don't enjoy all of creation... air to breath, the entire eco- system, every seed that exists, all water, all land... 

Have you ever heard the joke where God challenges the devil to a contest to grow the best garden... 

and, the devil shows up, so does God... the devil has his shovel ready to break ground and God says... 

Stop,... get your own dirt.

Kind of makes you think, hey? Most of what we think we have, we just borrow for a while.

Food, warm food

 The way it used to be... still applies to our world today... plant, grow, harvest, eat.

I really enjoy watching things grow... 

food, in particular.

Some people use language like... 

"Eat in season food," and I think they likely don't have a really good grasp on the short growing season of the mid- Canadian province we live in.

I still believe real nutrition comes from real...

 food.

Eggs, basil, peppers, cheese, milk, cream, butter,...

some of the  most nutritious foods have very simple ingredients.

Soup... I make soup most weeks from...

hmm,...

 September 

to May...

I would show you all my photos of my food but it almost seems like some of them have disappeared... 

Good thing I had 2,000 of them developed... the old- fashioned way.

Meat... all my soups have meat and meat broth beginnings.

Some of my soups look more like a yummy thick stew...

I dried some of this to see if I would enjoy it as... 

tea. 

Tasted the same as what you buy in a store.

During this cold winter season... may warm food and warm tea and coffee nourish your body.

Is it a crime?

 As a writer, sometimes. the only value in an experience is the scene possibility... to write an extreme situation into a novel so that we can all learn to be better people.

For my first published novel, I only studied criminology a very little bit and, for a time, I considered taking a course, on criminology, until I decided that History is a much better subject for me.

Strangely, though, as I wrote my 'work- a-day' book, some may call it ordinary, I had to dissect human behaviour from an 'alpha to omega' sequencing.

I use the phrase 'alpha to omega' in the meaning of 'beginning to end.' So, when detailing behavioural issues, it is necessary to mine the childhood experiences of a unruly and trouble- bound child into the adulthood of 'said' child to determine situational outplay. 

For instance, a scene in The Orchard Walk takes place in a bookstore. A child is forced to go to a very 'boring' public reading of a novel that has just been released. His parents force him to go imagining that the civilized environment might spark a match of interest in the 'bully' child.

Now, the reason I wrote about a child that was so obnoxious and a blatant bully that terrorized other people was because of the many situations I had to deal with when my wee little children attended school and were attacked by very uncivilized belligerents. My experiences, in dealing with bullies, were many, and I was always attempting to de- escalate situations when no policing was available.

The goal of any violent clash is, of course, to protect the lives of those who really didn't want to enter the fight at all. So, if anyone voluntarily enters a fight, there are real skills you will need if the 'end of a skirmish' is to be carefully negotiated so as to avoid very bitter residual feelings. Conflict resolution dictates that 'both' sides of any disagreement must adhere to the law and most conflicts, by definition, have usually crossed the boundaries of law into the arena of 'conflict' through the crime of infringement of rights. To de- escalate a situation, first, everyone must be willing to obey the law... which, of course, means, you have to know the laws that may be broken within a 'fight.' So, the phase of mediation, of such situations, can only begin after 'safety of all parties involved' has been secured, rules of resolution have been established and proper representation of each side has been procured. Proper representation must exclude anyone with a conflict of interest.

There are myriad problems that will arise if these steps are ignored, by- passed or circumvented by inappropriate parties using 'bully tactics' to overrule others. By definition, conflict resolution means a particular situation has been resolved. 

To resolve something means to settle a contentious matter. When a matter is contentious, it leads to arguing and the controversy, difference of opinion, must be peacefully traversed until mutual agreement has been reached.

For every person seeking a resolution to your personal crime which could be an act or activity that is considered to be shameful, wrong, or mistaken... I encourage a journal writing of the happening, in step by step detailing. As you write, you will discover where and how the situation went from a 'trusted' relationship ( work or personal) to a blatant distrust of manipulative moves that can only be described as 'criminal.'

May this year be a resolution year.  

Safe Boundaries

 

Boundaries is a huge topic that has been discussed and firmly exhibited from Old Testament stories to modern- day rivalries, as well as each personal relationship in ones' life.

A simple example of a boundary is a fence. 

Why do people put up fences?

People put up fences to keep what is inside a fence safe from intruders. So, when determining where to build a 'gazebo,' shed, anything you or I plan to use for our work or enjoyment, we choose to build it within the safety of a fence. A gazebo is a private structure that is usually built for relaxation and, quite often, rest. A shed/ garage is built for storing work- a- day items that are needed to effectively manage your life. 

I know what I am writing seems so obvious that a person would wonder what I am leading up to with such information. 

Well, my topic is 'boundaries' in relationships. So, my husband and I built this gazebo... all by ourselves... just the two of us. It is a one- of- a- kind gazebo that you can't buy anywhere because we needed a screened structure to enjoy outdoor living... there are a lot of pesky bugs where we live, in summer. This was a lot of work and, being do- it- yourselfers, it took every weekend from April to September, 2023 for us to complete.

Now, just for the record, I would be very upset if someone came into my yard and used it without my permission. The yard is fenced, locked and protected. This is the way it feels safe to us.

Boundaries, in property, are a good indication of boundaries in relationships. You might get a 'growl' if you enter a fenced yard, human or animal. I obey the rights of the owner... as I want the same respect.

Let's carry this topic into the arena of business relationships. Personally, I have never had a business partnership as that was highly recommended to me by many business owners. The problem with partnerships, these people would say, business especially; 

is the necessity, oftentimes, of a healthy break- up. The reason I say 'healthy' is because nobody wants things to become angry, messy, tense, or antagonistic. 

Now, many people wish healthy business relationships because we all need to earn money to live on. 

The most important thing each of us should attend to is a safe boundary between 'work' and 'home life.'

Work is what we do to create a good home life. That is the purpose of work. If anyone crosses the boundary of your home, without express permission, a tense environment may be the unhealthy result. An immediate boundary conversation can rectify the situation and keep relationships happy and healthy.

Other than my sole proprietorship type of business, I would not use my home for outside 'employee type' of work. I believe it is not healthy to invite strangers into your home... employers or employees. That boundary should always be maintained for the safety of each family unit.

So, when 'new' people try to muscle into your life, be firm, yet pleasant, in stating your 'safe boundaries' for the ease of relating. This is usually not a problem with mature people but, occasionally, it can crop up with people who don't know you or I... well.

Be pleasant, be polite, yet firm... let your yes, be yes and your no, be no.   

Purpose of Politeness

 It's 2026... the first real workday in this household... Christmas wonderfulness has, mostly, been packed away and I am formulating my goals for this year. 

    For the past three and a half years, I have been living in a town, not a city, per se. It is very difficult to find 'work that pays' in a new location. So far, I have not found it. 

    So, what have I done with my time here? 

    Unpaid work, of course! That I have been doing since the age of 17. 

    Now, before anyone tries to devalue 'unpaid work,' let me tell you what kind of projects I have completed.

    Do you know the saying, "Grow where you're planted?"

    I certainly have. I brought my garden box to this property and started growing immediately. Food... always necessary! 

    What I really moved here for was, a man who would help me with my projects. A helping hand, someone to share the day with and enjoy the completed projects.

    What did 'we' build in our project bonding? 

    A gazebo! I love my lovely garden room. It is a very successful project. It was completed in September of 2023 or 2024... I'll check my journal. Can we use the term elaborate for a gazebo? Well, it certainly is adequate. 

    What was the most important component of this budding relationship that 'got the project done,' so to speak? Dare I say respect? How about something old- fashioned, like politeness? In the past, not so distant, elaborate politeness was the social order of the day. This was, actually, a good thing. One day, a neighbour mentioned, to me, that she had been listening to us communicating during our summer- long project and she was quite impressed with how respectfully we communicated, even during stressful steps in the building of this structure.

     With this compliment, I thought, whew, we were being evaluated and we passed the test.

    There are times when evaluation, with this result, is encouraging. 

    Unrelenting evaluation, from bosses, co- workers, or family would not be helpful or constructive but this was a good conversation.

    The purpose of politeness is... productivity, in any work- a- day setting... paid work or unpaid work, the results will be the same. Politeness will keep a project going, insults will grind a project to a swift halt. 

    A total bathroom renovation was also completed, with my 'heading up the project' skills... of which my husband was more than willing to relinquish control of... 

    He simply said that construction was much more my skill than his, respectfully, of course!