Well, major pressure put me to bed last night and major pressure got me out of bed this morning. I would love to live without that pressure but it seems God has not removed it yet!

So... how to be satisfied in a world of pressure is what I am thinking about. Try to name a person you have met this last year or in the last few years who is satisfied. Can you name any? I think this may be a key to relieving some stress. 

Do I have the life I want to live right now? 

No.

Most of each day is spent trying to relieve pressure. There is not a lot of productivity that happens when this is the main need that requires my attention every day. Pressure creates all the negative things... bad eyesight, headaches... these make doing regular work and tasks very difficult. Take away pressure and everything seems a breeze... easy! 

I have never told this story here but it came to my mind this morning...

I was out shopping one day, in one of those stores I go to when I want a real 'fill my senses with beauty' stores. I did not have any particular needs but I like this store and the items they tend to carry. I was somewhat bored that day.

I cannot remember how the conversation started but it did... I cannot even remember what the conversation was about but it was fairly long especially for taking place in the aisle of a store with a stranger.

Maybe I sensed a need in the other person... I tend to give my attention to someone if I sense a genuine need and if I feel I should give my attention to that person in that moment.

I must have sensed this so I did. When I converse, seriously attend to the interchange, I am deliberate in my words and hope they will be helpful.

At the end of this rather long interchange a big smile broke out on the face of this person who then looked me straight in the eye and said, "You know I feel so good right now I don't even need to do any shopping."

Then I watched this person leave the store... without buying anything.

Now, retailers may not like this story but I think there is a lesson in it.

Satisfaction does not come from buying trinkets... that seems to be a diversion... an activity to try to relieve boredom perhaps... 

most of us just need someone to listen, attend to the words, adhere to the principle of authenticity of true caring and when I or you succeed in this... 

for me, the root of God's love is the place from which I speak...

when I succeed... another feels satisfaction and continues on their day with a smile and a light step.

I felt honoured by the result of that interchange... to meet any need of another in a given moment becomes the sum total of our lives... 

especially when you know you've given words of encouragement specified to that situation from the foundation of Biblical principles you try to live by.

For me, this is a perfect depiction of traversing life and what it's like to succeed at anything... it's a careful stepping on a narrow path, the Biblical foundation laid a long time ago with roots going deep enough to show forth a beautiful canopy of protection that we all want then being kind enough to offer words that lighten anothers' load along the way.

This is a 'be satisfied' moment... let us all have many of those and may God bring the increase for each of us as we do this.

Desires of my Heart

To find love and get out of the system of the world that just creates daily and continual stress... these are the desires of my heart.

Rapture

Today I would like to talk about a subject I have not spoken of, in my writings, here, before. I wish I had not deleted the photo I took in the park on Friday night... it would have been really good for this topic but it was all smoky fog and just bright light so I deleted it... shouldn't have. So, as a Christian, I have always believed in the Rapture... that time in history when Jesus will come back for his believers and remove them from the earth in the blink of an eye.
Almost thirty years ago I must have been quite convincing to some people because a regular customer I used to serve came in to where I was working and said, "Hey, El..., if Jesus comes back could you just take your hand and grab me on your way up?"
"Ahh, it just does not work that way. You have to make that decision yourself," I replied to him.
Day after day he kept coming in with his wife and I would listen to their stories of really hard stuff they were dealing with... their kids and the relationships surrounding them. Some of it was really heartbreaking... as all broken relationships are.
A few years passed and although I was no longer working at that place, I would still hear about this man from time to time. I prayed for him for many years.
One day, the news about him was not so good... he got sick... and, eventually, died.
I used to be such a worrier and would panic a little when I was unsure if the person had made 'a decision for the Lord' as I say it.
So, I would read obituaries looking for a sign that maybe the person had turned to God in the end. And, lo and behold, he had. Wow! That always gave me the most amazing boost of belief... I guess is what I would call it... all the years of putting up with things you never think you are going to have to deal with or listen to... and find embarrassing... how you deal with it... that you deal with it... the attitude with which you interchange a difficult out of your comfort zone conversation day after day... somehow keeping a comradery you maybe did not ask for but met the challenge of just to make your day workable... not always pleasant but workable... that is worth the effort!
Every day I had to manage the embarrassing aspects of the interchanges while, somehow, I must have got what I thought most important into those strange communications because he did turn to God before he died.
So, I still believe the rapture may occur at any moment and it is important to always be ready to meet the Lord.

This is the photo I took, Friday night, before the one I deleted that I think would have been very good for this story. I like really clear, sharp photos but this one works well with the Thessalonians... '... the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night.' 

My Day

On my stress- relieving drive, the first thing I thought would make a great photo today was this snow covered old fence... so, I saw a deer trail and thought I could probably follow it to get this shot... hmm, not as easy as you may imagine but with the first knee deep snow sinking I was determined to, at least, get the photo... 

then, this one turned out even better with a change of angle... same fence but so much more interest...

Then this tree caught my eye... mostly because of the way the snow makes it look alive even though it may not be... we'll see in spring.

If you notice the deer right in the middle of the photo... these caught my eye and looked very scary at first because they were kind of three together in a strange shape at first and when I got a better look at them I realized it was just trompe l'oeil... a trick of the eye... just three grazing together.

Then I thought this might be boring but, instead, it looks really majestic, in a way, with the vastness of the sky making a huge stand of trees look minuscule. 

This shot I chose for the way the front trees look wispy backed by the thick green ones behind them. Sometimes I am looking for ways to make trees when I create a quilt... always hard but a challenge I pursue.

 This one I took for the layered look as I was thinking of putting two cabins on one quilt and was trying to find a shot for layered, ascending perspective...

This cabin quilt I started last night... I only made the door last night and the wood roof peak work and window today... I'm liking it!

Take the pressure off

So, I'm building cabins on quilts trying to fulfill my dreams of building them in real. I really enjoyed making this. Tons of work... but so is building in bricks, lumber, glass, and concrete... I just enjoy trying to make the vision that is kind of floating in my mind for these simple little cottages I would love to build.
This morning was a horrible pain morning and then it went from pain to pressure... neither of those is a happy feeling. I don't know why there is so much pain and pressure around... I know life is hard. It's hard for me too. Wow! The road to finding love is lonely, very lonely.
What is there to do in these times of... shall we say struggle? My devotions are always a compilation of Scripture along with the latest book of encouragement I am reading and sometimes the advice is just so on point. I love that. You can actually only love that if you are a really honest person with yourself... which I am. And with others... oh, yes.
If it be true that we are each 'the sum total of our experiences' then I can see why some people seem quite lost as one man said to me a couple of days ago. He said he didn't know what he was looking for and he is not a young man. How can one generation lead the younger one if they are themselves lost? Pretty scary, huh?
So, I am trying to keep creating as this brings me life and fulfillment of a small measure and it takes the pressure off of wondering if things are going to get wonderful one day.
I hope they do.
I would love to feel security and comfort and love. This is normal for most I would say.
I am trying to keep the pressure off of myself so my head doesn't feel like my eyeballs are popping out from the pain and it would be so lovely if other people also took some pressure off. Wouldn't you say?
We should make it a national holiday... take the pressure off day! 

Perfecting Love

In my studies I came across the Scripture that speaks of the Holy Spirit as 'seven spirits' even though the Holy Spirit is also spoken of as one spirit. So, my question, and if I had ever heard a sermon that described this I would not have wondered about it but, I did not have the answer to what the purpose of the 'seven spirits' is. Biblically, seven is considered the number of completion or perfection. This question has been on my mind for the last while and I think I came up with one answer this morning. Revelation 4:5 talks about the the seven spirits being 'seven torches of fire.' The last few months have been a very painful spiritual experience for me... I've been going it alone... well, with God, I suppose one must say. I have really wondered why it is so painful. I think this might be an answer... if God is trying to perfect anything or anyone... it is likely to be painful.
I used to be a perfectionist until I was so berated for this that I gave that up. It put way too  much pressure on people. The end result of a project was much better with this perfectionism but the process was very difficult and painful.
Now, I have never met a perfect human and I do not believe there is one or ever will be one. I also had a new opinion of perfectionism when a man I admired for his fine perfectionistic work, and was hired for that reason, one day said to me... "It's good enough."
This was a new standard for the man and I had a questioning look on my face that then elicited a story as to why work is acceptable when it is 'good enough'.
In this world and for the next is the tension that always seems to exist in each decision, work, plan, and in particular, motive.
As a Christian, everything we do is done in this world for the next world.
One thing makes sense to me now... we must let go of perfectionism while striving to be perfect and trying to live in a relaxed tension of getting things done.
With the quilt, pictured above, the one thing I was really happy with was the window... I wanted it to look like glass. That is hard to do with fabric but I got it just right and when the light hits it,... it really looks like glass. If you've ever worked with real glass... painful, sharp, and you're always getting little cuts that really hurt. So, the person working with real glass experiences the pain until the window is in and it looks so beautiful in its setting and reflects the light so dramatically.
When God is trying to perfect us, it is painful because He is perfect and we are flawed. There is going to be a bit of a clash and it will probably feel abrasive which it certainly has lately.
Perfecting love is a hard job and only God is perfect at it. Submitting to the process is not hard if one understands that is what the pain is all about.
So, if the seven spirits are torches of fire... refining is going to be painful, yes?
The goal and aim of Christianity is our process of perfecting love... the first two commandments, right?
My experience... it's hard but worthy.

Increase Love

"... hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown." Revelation 3:11

In my experience, every day gets harder to live out your Christian faith... the older you get. I always thought it would get easier but it does not. The good news is that some things get better. For me, the one thing that gets continually better is the application of one Scripture to another. If I think of a warning that scares me I find the answer to that warning on another day... all in the Scriptures. These lovely and surprising reassurances are built on a day to day reading of the Scriptures and just when I express a fear, to myself, a few hours later I get the reassurance that I needed even though I have already forgotten what that fear was.
I think that is the rhythm of the walk that gets easier with the continual practice of the studying.
I am very much a 'what is the answer to that' kind of person. I do not like problems without answers yet I have seen world problems, these last few years, that seem very difficult to ascribe answers to. This concerns me. I pray for leaders and I believe everyone should.
Lately I have felt mostly pain and I do not like this at all because we all live in this world where we want love to be increasing. Most people would still agree that an increase of love will bring a decrease in the negative powers... and there is quite a list of those.
There is good and bad in the spiritual realm and I pray, without ceasing, that the good prevails. It is for the good of all mankind that anyone does this type of work. There is no monetary reward for this... you and I are making our crown for eternity with this work... the betterment of a world for mankind.
The stresses of day to day living wears on people. Sometimes I hear it in shouting that comes from outside. That's loud shouting. The stresses of living... others are feeling them too. This last week I went for a drive and I saw only one person who was smiling and genuinely so it seemed to me with the passenger he had in his vehicle. It was so noticeable. It was beautiful to see because it did not look fake. I need a ton of encouragement each day to keep believing that I will get a job. Looks hopeless most days. I take responsibility for encouraging myself by reading books that encourage. Hard work encouraging oneself; but necessary. Sometimes I unplug my internet for most of the day. There is so little to encourage me there. One man I listened to last year said he doesn't even open his emails first thing in the morning because there is mostly only bad news in them... I paid close attention to that afterwards and barring a short exchange of love letters this last year... there really was not any good news in those emails. Just information. Information is not good news... it is something you are required to do something with. Work, it is just work.
Currently, I do not have a confidante but I read in a book, this week, that you are lucky if you have even a few of these throughout your whole lifetime. Someone who is always on your side and wants the best for you.
There was one honest conversation that I had a couple of weeks ago... a spontaneous interchange while I was shoveling, that got me thinking about intimacy as a woman who experiences much loneliness. I thought, surely most other people feel more connected than I do but... this person said, no, feeling connected in the church was not an overwhelming feeling for that family either. So, it is my belief that every person must increase love,... through prayer is the way I do this every day. I encourage you to do the same.